My Little Leprechaun

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I kinda wanted Nate to be a St. Patrick's Day baby.  I'm not even the slightest bit Irish, but truth be told, I was ready to have him out by then and I secretly (ok, maybe not so secretly, if you ask my sister) wanted him to be a 17th baby.  My brother and I were both born on the 17th as is my person, Tiff (all different months and years, of course) but I thought it would be cool if Nate was, too.

My sister always had a complex growing up because of the three siblings she was the only one NOT to have a birthday on the 17th and my brother and I would remind her that Mom and Dad were in our "club", too, because if you add up the month and date of their anniversary (11/6)...yep, you guessed it - it adds to 17.  So when I told my sister I wanted Nathaniel born on the 17th to be part of the cool crew, she was none too happy.  (insert evil laugh, here!)  He was due on the 22nd (her birthday) so she had her own agenda and plan anyway.

I ate so many Shamrock Shakes that March I thought Nate might come out green and smelling of mint anyway so he was already half way to being a leprechaun in my book!

Not to mention, my favorite color is green.

Fast forward a couple decades and I couldn't help but think what a great time he'd have on his 21st birthday with all that green beer flowing.

Needless to say, his birthday is NOT today, so I lost my "wager" with my sister.  But when he was born on the 21st and not the 22nd...I figured she didn't win either so I was happy regardless. 

Yet today I ponder what it could have been like to be celebrating my little leprechaun today.  Instead, I breathe a gigantic sigh of relief that I still have 4 more days to prepare for his actual birthday!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday...Typical Nate

At Chuck E. Cheese's a couple weeks ago, I had Nate sit with me to do one of those sketch drawings they print out for you.  Last time we were there (YEARS ago!) I got one drawn of Nate and I and I wanted a "comparison" of him now.  Well, he was none too happy at my request.  So this is the photo we got.  And you know what, this is so Nate.  He can be pretty miserable sometimes, and (too) often shows his emotions right out in the open.  We're working with him on this but in the meantime I will enjoy his, um...expressive-ness. 

Birthday Week 2011

I sit here, wracked with guilt as I realize I don't think I did a birthday week post party for Alex last year (oops!).  I celebrated Nate's birthday week last March, but totally forgot to dedicate the whole week to my Digger when it came time for his 2nd birthday.  Apparently March must have more free time associated with it (HA!) but for whatever reason, I tend to remember it for Nate and forget come September to keep things fair.  I promise to make it up to Alex this year!  (Love you, Piggy!  Mommy's sorry!)

Anyway, today marks the start of Nate's Birthday Week 2011.  And what a big week it is!  Next Monday my baby big boy turns 5.  FIVE!  Can you believe it?  I honestly don't know where 5 years (1,825 days!) have disappeared to so quickly!

So to kick off what proves to be a fun trip down memory lane this week, I thought it would be fun to celebrate Monday Ughday, Nate-style!

In honor of my little fireBug on the start of Birthday Week 2011, I bring you a smile from Ziggy, and a little firehouse bonus!

 

And from Thatababy by Paul Trap

Quiet Time

I learned a valuable lesson today.

Quiet time is not just for our kids.

I strive to keep my children on some semblance of a schedule.  I give them breakfast at the same time, snack time comes rather predictably a couple hours later, then lunch time, followed by nap/quiet time, etc.  They know it's coming.  That's not a surprise.  Quiet time doesn't suddenly sneak up on them.   Yet, they fight it every time.

I have come to realize today, after a moment, er, afternoon of not-so-stellar mothering, that I, too, greatly depend on quiet time.  In fact, it is instrumental to my soul.  Without quiet time, I melt down.  Just like my kids do.  Only uglier.  And usually louder.

If some days are "on" days and others are "off" days, today has certainly been a total power outage sort of day.  I'm ready to crawl into bed and start over again tomorrow.

Monkey Boy

In case there is any question as to why it is I call Alex my "Monkey Boy".  Not only can he grab a hold of my hand and climb up me to flip, sit on my shoulders, or take a piggy back ride, but he's always climbing and swinging and flipping and somersaulting.  He's a tiny little limber and agile gymnast child.  Or something.

Here's his latest little trick and proof that I'm not crazy:

He's a monkey alright.

What I Want to Be...

I'm having one of those crossroads in life where I'm thinking long and hard about what I want to be "when I grow up".  I can answer more easily the question, "what do I NOT want to be" but that doesn't help me much.

So I started drafting an ideal dream in my head of what would make me happy.

First, it would be having my own schedule.  I work very funny sometimes.  My brain, my creativity and therefore, my productivity ebbs and flows.  It also flickers on and off like a light switch or a channel changer.  My head bounces from one area of focus to the next like a ping pong ball.  If you've ever had a conversation with me, you know this.  So to fit my most productive brain power into a set work day (from 8-3, for example) is nearly impossible.  Take for example last week - I took 3 days off last week, worked one day (at work) and one day from home and managed to accomplish just as much, if not more, than I do sitting in my cubicle at work for 35 hours a week.  Not to mention, my house was more orderly, the dishes were done after every meal, the laundry was caught up, projects were completed and I generally felt like I knew what was going on with my family.

I'm not sure if that means I think better when I'm at home, I'm too distracted when I'm at work, or perhaps I'm just able to bounce in and out of work mode and Mom mode when it fits and still get just as much done as I do when I'm at work just wishing I could be at home being a Mom.

Anyway, ideally, I could wake up (at the crack of dawn, no doubt), do my early morning snuggling/coffee thing with the boys, get Nate off to school, get him/them working on a project of some sort or playing nicely together and sit down to get some work done.  If they need a drink or I have to make lunch, I go "on break" and attend to their needs.   Perhaps I stop in the afternoon to play a game of Hi-Ho-Cherry-O or piece back together a broken Lego fire truck.  I'd still get my snuggle time in the evening and then if need be, do some more work after they're in bed.  There are 16 hours in a day when I am awake, surely I can get a normal day's work in there somewhere by using my idle time more productively.  All while never (rarely) having to leave my house and having the flexibility to be there for my family when they need me.

Now, about this WORK I'd ideally be doing.  Something I enjoy.  Something I'm naturally good at, that comes easily.  Something that feels productive, expresses some of who I am, and allows me to feel good about my contributions.  Naturally, I would like this to be writing.  Articles, blogs, books, grants, I really don't care as much as I'm writing something and helping to support my family by doing it.  That would be awesome.  But I lack two very important skills...know how, and follow through.

I don't know where to start and my current "randomly applying for freelance jobs as they appear" thing isn't working out very quickly.  So, besides winning the lottery or learning that I have a wealthy Great Uncle Hector who passed away and left me his fortune in Confederate money to unload on Ebay, what's a girl to do?

All I know is I have to do something.  I'm a miserable wretch watching my boys' life pass me by while I miss it all.  How does that guy on the Food Network get the job as "Official Ice Cream Taste Tester", anyhow?  Surely my dream job has to be out there somewhere...

10 on 10: March 2011

Today is the 10th of the month, so you know what that means...10 on 10!

Take 1 photo each hour for 10 hours on the 10th of the month.

In honor of St. Patrick's Day I did my 10 on 10 in a green theme today.  Green just happens to be my favorite color so I was thrilled to be able to find (and record) snippets of it throughout my day!  

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Be sure to stop over to here to check out more 10 on 10 photo sets taken by people much more talented and artistic than I am!

Wordless Wednesday...Peaceful Slumber

Checked Out

In a way I feel as though I have checked out from my job.  I spent weeks going back and forth with the powers-that-be trying to come to a mutually agreeable outcome for my schedule and even though we (finally) came to an agreement that essentially served both our needs, I feel a bit disgruntled about the whole process.  I find myself angry and feeling like I'd rather do anything than work for people whom I feel don’t really value me or my skills.

I’m sure a lot of this has to do with my well-documented inferiority complex and my on-going struggle against this disease I call Cellophane-itis, but nonetheless, it sucks.

So I continue trudging along, doing the best job I know how, following directions, meeting deadlines - all while secretly dreading even getting up in the morning and driving my butt in to work.  Everything there suddenly feels too politic-y and square.  They claim to be family-friendly, but for the first time, I don't really believe that.  Luckily I really like my boss and totally respect him, what he's taught me, and the work he does so I'd never leave him high and dry, but my heart just isn't in it these days.

It doesn't help that I spent three glorious weeks being a (part-time) stay-at-home-mom and saw what the other side of the coin looks like.   So, until some miracle happens I need to rally, put on my game face, dig deep and get the job done.  All while secretly hoping against all hopes that the job I want to be doing the most doesn't pass me by while I'm waiting.  

Monday Ughdays

I hate really dislike Mondays.  In their mean way Monday's almost seem to rub that "Weekend's Over" reality in your face with awful things like alarm clocks, and work schedules, and morning traffic.  Ugh.

 

So, to cope.  I've turned to Ziggy.  Ziggy has always been a favorite of mine.  His low self esteem, bad luck, near invisibility, and predominately upbeat attitude despite all that, has always resonated with me.  Ziggy is my hero.  So, I thought I'd turn Mondays (which are usually low-functioning brain days, as well) into Monday Ughdays and share a bit of humor, perspective, and relate-able brilliance...Ziggy-style!

*breathe*  

Ah, that's better. 

Bedhead

Alex has the worst case of bedhead when he gets up in the morning.  He's always had this Alfalfa thing going on, but this is even more extreme.  It's still ridiculously cute so I had to share it.  

My Digger FUZZ Bucket!  :)

I think I will have to introduce him to hair gel at an early age!  

Flashback Friday - Traditions

Growing up I had my fair share of traditions to look forward to each year - traditions to celebrate birthday, Christmas, and annual Vacations.

I struggle with traditions to establish with my boys.  Sometimes I think I even over think it (gasp!) at times and try too hard to make everything a tradition that they can hold on to.

Today, however, I decided to share an old tradition my Mom established years ago.  When I was Nate's age, I remember coming home from Kindergarten (it was half-day for me) and my Mom would give me a snack of peanut butter saltines with a sprinkle of sugar...Mom would allow me a certain number of crackers depending on my age, and proximity to meal time, I suspect.  I'd count out the crackers, and create my masterpieces.

Not only are these little ditties delicious even to these days, but they bring back such fond comfort and memories for me.  I remember coming home from rough days in college and making that for my snack.  I'd sit at the table, using a paper towel for a plate, just as I remember Mom doing, and I'd count out my crackers, build my crackerpieces and savor.

I was so happy to be able to share this simple snack from my past with my boys.  Nate got 4 (one for each year) and Alex got 2 to follow suit.  And both seemed to enjoy them as much as I did.  I'm not sure they understood the importance these little concoctions hold but I do hope they realize it the way I do someday.  I at least hope some of my traditions stick...If not this tradition, than the next.

Wordless Wednesday...Fun with Chuck E.

Simple Woman's Daybook...March 1, 2011

FOR TODAY...March 1, 2011

Outside my window...the sun is setting on what turned out to be a great day!

I am thinking...about the fun day we had today.  I put Nate on the bus this morning and then Alex and I walked around the corner to drop in on my brother and play with my nephew.  I had been feeling disconnected lately so I was happy to spend some one on one time with them and air my concerns.  When Nate got home from school we loaded up and met Heidi and clan at Chuck E. Cheese's for some fun.  

I am thankful for...the time I have been able to spend at home with my boys these past couple of weeks.  I feel so much more in control when I have an inside hand in what's going on here at home instead of just flying through once in a while like I do working 40 hours/week.  

From the kitchen...the kitchen is closed tonight.  I had big intentions of making something for dinner but by the time we got home it was the farthest thing from my mind.  The boys were less than cooperative so I gave up.

I am wearing...the outfit I wore to meet Heidi earlier...plus my bathrobe.  I have a chill I can't get rid of so I layered up.  

I am remembering...that Dave will be changing shifts again when I go back to work.  We will see each other very infrequently so I am glad it is short lived and remembering that it will all be worth it once he's certified and doing something new that he loves.

I am going...to enjoy the last couple of days home with my boys.  We have few plans that will take us away so we'll stick close to home.

I am hoping...to survive the month of March with few casualties.  

I am hearing...nothing.  I am breathing a sigh of relief while Dave has taken the kids to town to get Chinese food for dinner.   Between getting up at 5AM and no nap for Alex, I am at wit's end.  Alex gets so wired and rotten when he's tired and today he's tired beyond even that!

Pondering these words..."Chances are good that you won't have to see me again" - Dr. Andolina, Blood Disorder Specialist at Strong Pediatric Hematology 

We got the call tonight that Alex's blood work came back looking good.  He is a little low on the iron but not detrimentally so.  The doctor said his hemoglobin numbers were a bit low but that could be explained by his attempt to overcome anemia or a viral infection he may have had recently wherein he'd still be building his numbers back up.  He recommended we continue supplementing his iron for another month or so and then have him checked again at his 3-year check up in September.  But all in all, everything checked out.  *sigh of relief  

Around the house...general run-of-the-mill chaos.  Pillows, toys, basic fire fighting equipment is strewn about, as usual.  Tomorrow I will tackle that, the dishes, the laundry, and snuggle with my boys some more.  

On my mind...I'm trying not to dwell on it, but I feel the pressure as these three weeks home with my babies comes to a close.  I really wanted to figure out some magical equation that would allow me to make this staying home thing work for all of us, for real.  But alas, here we are and I'm no closer than I was three weeks ago to being able to make a living from home.

Noticing that...my head spins when I get the option of having 5 minutes to myself.  Should I blog?  Take a shower?  Nap?  Clean?  Fold Laundry?!?!  So many options...so little time.  Usually by the time I figure something out my time is up.

One of my favorite things...my laptop.  It allows me to be "connected" while still being connected where I need to be.  I'm able to get a lot of stuff done without being away from where the action is.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  haircut, swimming lessons, hanging with the family.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Chloe and Nate were playing a game at Chuck E. Cheese today that simulated electric voltage and they had to hold on for a certain amount of time to earn tickets.  I love the look on their faces...classic!