Double Digits

In the blink of an eye my Bug has turned 10.  While I can't imagine my life without him in it, it seems impossible to think that he has been in my world for a whole decade!

Three years ago, when he was turning seven, I wrote the following:

"Suddenly, you appear before me, this boy who can make his own lunches and get himself ready for school.  You have friends and a social schedule and plans that aren't always mine.  You have homework and chores and responsibilities that you take care of with some gentle reminding.  You're mature, and polite, and kind.  Temper tantrums have begun to give way and therefore have made time for more philosophical conversations and fun play.  As if out of nowhere, you know things - smart things - that I didn't teach you.  You read and learn and listen and soak in the world around you - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  You worry more.  You parent a lot.  You fight like heck for the little person but forget to stand up for the person you should be protecting the most (you!)."

It hasn't changed at all.  Nate is still my independent, mature, and responsible "old man".  He follows the rules and makes sure everyone else does, too.  He's helpful and kind.  

He is smart and has brilliant ideas and actual opinions about important stuff.  At nine he thinks more about other people and their feelings than most adults I know.  He's raised money for the ASPCA, studies about World War II like it's his job, and even started a business, Inventors, Inc.  He's written bylaws for his business, and has a "staff" of 14 of his classmates.  He even asked his school principal if he could set up a table for his business at the PTSA's Family Fun Night next month.  

Nate reads everything he can get his hands on.  When I'm having a bad day or am beyond frustrated with his little brother's behavior, he is the first to offer a hug, a kiss or will make me a cup of tea just to ease the tension.  His imagination is still stellar and he'll disappear into scenes in his mind.  It's fascinating.  

As a 4th-grader he's still singing in chorus, taken up playing the trumpet, gotten braces, and still lives and breathes fire fighting. He's gotten really good at cooking.  Thanks to loving friends and family, he has a few cookbooks from which he'll pick a recipe and go to town.  He's made some delicious meals and desserts!    

He is definitely a one of a kind kid.  I don't know how I got so lucky to be his Mom...but I cherish every moment!

Therapy

I have had an overwhelming need to write lately.  Not about anything profound or even all that important...just to "talk" in an effort to purge the words, emotions, and thoughts in my head.  I miss it.  I miss sharing our stories and photos and adventures.  It's not that we haven't had anything to share...it's quite the opposite, actually.  We've been so busy I haven't had the TIME to share.

And that makes me sad.  As I've mentioned before, so many moments have fallen through the cracks in my memory.  So many stories have gone untold and will undoubtedly be forgotten until such time in the distant future when some random event sparks a flicker of remembrance.  Even then the memory will be fleeting, as many of my memories are these days.

As I sit here in my new pink camo recliner the wood stove is cranking at about 80 degrees.  My wine, which was once chilled, is now lukewarm and my cat is insisting on garnering all of my attention.

Nate will be turning 10 (!) in less than 2 weeks and Dave and I are trying to plan a special trip to commemorate this big birthday (double digits!).  I figured at 10 he's over the whole "party" thing (or at least I am!).  So instead of spending the money to have a magician come entertain 20 of his "closest" friends, we're looking to provide an adventure and build some lifelong memories.  In true Nate fashion, we're going to bring him to NYC to tour the 9/11 memorial and maybe visit FDNY.  It'll be perfect for our little Fire Bug.  I cant' wait!  I hope he doesn't miss out too much on the chance to celebrate with his friends, but I want to make it special in a new way this year.

Two, Four, Six, EIGHT...who do we appreciate?!?!?! NATE!

I know people say it all the time, and I, myself, bemoan the passage of time all too often, but seriously...WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?!?!  Today, my first born...the little man that made me a MOM, is 8 years old (!).  I can't help but still think of him as that strong-willed, independent little 2-year-old, or that pig-headed, determined little 3-year-old, or that smart, ingenious, and imaginative, 4,5, or 6-year-old.  Even looking back on him last year at this time, he was a totally different Bug.  His toothless grin has been replaced by adult teeth and a taller, more mature little MAN face. 

Suddenly, he is responsible, reliable, capable, and far too old to be caught dead getting kisses from his Mama.  His favorite response to "I love you", "I missed you", or "Have a great day!" is..."Ok.".  Doing anything with his baby brother in tow is suddenly "embarrassing".  And he rebels against any and everything that might portray him to be a "baby" of any kind (going to bed before 8 PM, having to sit with his brother, holding my hand anywhere outside the house, etc.).

Nate is such an old man, too.  He's curmudgeon-y, cranky, and loves to grumble.  He'll be the first one to curse Mother Nature if it's too cold or snows too much.  He even got mad at the school administrators once for "making young children stand out in the cold to wait for the bus".  He loves to parent everyone (especially the dogs and his brother!).  And rules are his best friends....stray from them at all and he's thrown for a loop and doesn't quite know how to cope.  He tends to be a bit of a perfectionist and the slightest hurdle or bump in the road sends his self esteem into a tailspin.  At eight, we're learning a lot about being more positive, handling stress with more grace, and utilizing some coping skills that he forgets all too quickly when things don't go his way.

I look back on pictures of Nate from years ago and can't help but feel a pang of sadness at how quickly he's growing up.  I miss that blanket sniffing, crazy ensemble wearing, free spirit!  But I am also ridiculously proud of the sweet, sensitive, smart, and responsible young man he is becoming. 

Now, do me a favor, Nate....Slow DOWN!  

Happy birthday, Bug-a-boo!

Summer Rec

I know we are in the throes of the school year already, but I feel like there's SO much of the summer I had wanted to capture here for posterity and yet I haven't.

So, please excuse me while I go back in time a couple months to share with you this snapshot in time.  :)

As I've shared before, Nate started Tee Ball when he was 5 (summer before he started Kindergarten).  He played again last summer (before 1st grade) and finally this year moved up to what is called (in these parts) "Coach Pitch" baseball.  It was quite the adjustment for him.  First of all, the people on his team take baseball very seriously.  And some of these kids have been living and breathing baseball since they were born.  So to say that Nate was a little behind the curve is a bit of an understatement.  But what he lacked in skill he definitely made up for in heart and passion.  What really hurt his game was that any practice he was getting at home was limited and, well, let's just say that Mommy pitching (at 4'10" tall) or Daddy pitching underhand is NOT the same as the 6' coach pitching overhand.  So there was some learning to do there.

Good news is, he got a LOT of individual practice with one of his two coaches or other parent helpers. The other thing I really liked was the variety of positions he got to experience.  They had him on 1st, outfield, and he even got to be catcher a few times.  It really was good for him to get a feel for the different positions and the tasks each position is responsible for.  I really think he'll continue to grow.

This year Alex got to join the Summer Rec ranks and play Tee Ball like his big brother.  I also signed him up for soccer because I knew he'd be good at it and I'm glad I did.  I really think he preferred soccer (it moved more than tee ball does).  But we'll give him another year in both to figure it out.  It was an adjustment for Nate who's never had to go and sit and watch at a game for his brother (we had a few words about that the first few practices because Alex did it for Nate's tee ball for two years, it was Nate's turn to learn the spectator role).  It all worked out in the end thanks to a nearby playground and friends of his at practices who he could go off and play with on empty fields.

We had a rough go of it for tee ball and soccer this year.  For the first 3 weeks or so, we kept getting rained out or cancelled for soggy fields.  But once the season finally kicked off (i.e. the weather cooperated), we had fun.

I really liked the way they coordinated the tee ball teams this year.  Instead of playing a long boring game that 4 & 5 year olds couldn't focus more than 5 minutes on, they rotated smaller groups of the kids through "stations" that worked on them with batting, fielding, and catching.  Then for the last part of practice they'd play a "game".  I really think it worked great and taught Alex a LOT more in one year than Nate learned on his teams for two years.  I hope we have these coaches again next year!!

 So, until next year....

Seven

Dear Bug, er, Nate,

As I sit here, in the dark, in the last few minutes before the clock ticks away the precious few remaining moments of you being just SIX, I think of you.  You are soundly sleeping in the other room.  Your sweet snores remind me that you are near and tell me you are in peaceful slumber, dreaming pleasantly of ladder trucks and cookie cakes, I hope.

Seven to me seems like such a big number.  Such an impossibly large number.  How is it that you became SEVEN in the mere blink of an eye?  It's also a scary number.  It seems like seven is so much closer to the real world.  One step closer to the harsh realities of hurt, disappointment, danger, life lessons, and fear.  One step farther away from the safety of my arms.

Suddenly, you appear before me, this boy who can make his own lunches and get himself ready for school.  You have friends and a social schedule and plans that aren't always mine.  You have homework and chores and responsibilities that you take care of with some gentle reminding.  You're mature, and polite, and kind.  Temper tantrums have begun to give way and therefore have made time for more philosophical conversations and fun play.  As if out of nowhere, you know things - smart things - that I didn't teach you.  You read and learn and listen and soak in the world around you - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  You worry more.  You parent a lot.  You fight like heck for the little person but forget to stand up for the person you should be protecting the most (you!).

I often miss the little boy you were, but I have to stop myself and focus on the amazing young MAN you are becoming.  You are strong, independent, funny, caring, kind, creative, loving, witty, smart, and incredibly handsome!!  I am so proud to be your Mom and blessed to have you in my heart and in my world every single minute of the last seven years!!  Happy birthday, Bug!

P.S.  Now, can you slow down this growing up thing, a little...for ME?  Please?  :)

Wordless Wednesday...Grumpy

All Nate Wants for Christmas...

...is his TWO FRONT TEETH!

Merry Christmas, everyone!!

Six

6 years ago today my itty bitty Bug was born.

Weighing 7lbs, 12 oz. he was such a tiny little bundle of inexpressible joy, love and (for me) fear.

His personality has always been 10 times bigger than his britches.

Even now, at 6, that's no different.

Nate is just as LOUD as he is noticeably silent.  He's both cheerful and happy, and equally miserable and cranky.


For as driven and ambitious as he is (when he wants to be), he can be just as frustratingly stubborn and lazy.

His emotions, his actions, his expressions, moods, even his level of cooperation run at very contrasting extremes, almost constantly.


And he's insanely creative, hysterically funny, wildly imaginative, expressive, passionate, sensitive, completely lovable, and 110% awesome!


As he gets bigger and bigger, I do miss the little boy he was.  The "fwey" (pacifier) sucking, blanket sniffing, costume dressing, temper tantrum throwing toddler he once was is long gone.  

But in his place, I get a story telling, crazy singing, tooth-losing, capable, helpful, self-sufficient little MAN who can READ and WRITE and do MATH!!  

And I wouldn't trade that for anything.  

Happy 6th birthday, Bug (a-Boo)!!