Community

 

     com·mu·ni·ty

         kəˈmyo͞onədē/

        noun

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2.    1.

      a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

   
   

      "the sense of community that organized religion can provide"

 

A dear friend of mine, David, used to say "you build community wherever you go".  He was a world traveler with fascinating experiences to share and valuable life lessons to teach.  He was brilliant and undeniably left an indelible mark on this world before Cancer took him in 2013.

This phrase has always stuck with me...yet until this week I never fully understood its impact and power.

 

I got word on Tuesday that another lifelong friend, Jes, was moved to Hospice after an all too long and difficult fight with Cancer.  It has finally taken its toll on her amazingly strong body and spirit.  I sat there in a daze trying to figure out what to do, how to help, why any of this was happening.  I felt lost and confused and full of dread for what was to come.
 

As I walked into Hospice that first day after getting the news, my anxiety was at an all time high.  Here I was in a beautiful, yet somber building, in an unfamiliar town, not knowing what to expect and definitely not wanting to be there in the first place.  As I stepped through the doors of her room, I was greeted by a room full of faces, both familiar and new.  Some of these people I had known for a lifetime yet hadn't seen in years, some I knew more superficially, but most I had never even met until that moment.  

 

As the hours and days have worn on, I have spent a LOT of time in that room with these people.  I have learned their names, their stories, who they "belong" to/with. I have slowly figured out their connections.  And they have learned mine.  Each of them has welcomed me in with (literal) open arms.  As the only "past" person there in a room full of blood relatives, family, and friends who live richly in her "present", I haven't once felt like an outsider.  Instead, I have come to count on these people for strength, updates, and support.  I look forward to seeing them again every day.  Hospice has since become a place of love and camaraderie, jokes and playfulness (as odd as that sounds).  I have found solace there in this group of people feeling the same feelings and walking the same path.  We each have our role to play - caregiver, meal planner, information sharer, medical expert, shift scheduler, comic relief...Our contributions are all different but each part makes up a whole.  Each of us is a piece in the puzzle of community that we have built around Jes, her family and each other. 

 

We are no longer strangers from different towns, backgrounds and times in Jes's life.  We are suddenly a COMMUNITY of friends, united by a common love for this amazing woman and a shared sadness for the journey we were traveling with her.  This amazing community she has built around her makes me both proud and sad.  I am so proud (and not surprised in the least) that Jes has this rich group of amazing people that love and adore her as much as I do.  However, I am sad that I didn't know many of them until now.  I am also immensely relieved to know that her husband and three wonderful boys will continue to have the love and support of these fabulous people to carry them through the next few weeks, months and years.

 

Shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer, I was talking online with Jes and wrote, "We'll get through this, my dear. You're not alone. Now is when all your years of being wonderful to everyone else will come back to provide strength and support for you!  Because you have earned all the love that we will now shower on you :)".  These words were genuine and sincere at the time yet somehow I never quite knew just HOW true and genuine they would become. 

Our journey together is not yet over, though the end does appear to draw near.  Please pray for peace for my dear Jes.   

Cuckoo

Ugh.  I'm doing it again...I have so many thoughts jumping around in my head...there are so many things happening.  Yet I sit down, start a post to share my thoughts or feelings and then I get stuck.  My words suddenly make no sense...my initial concept just isn't being communicated.  It's so frustrating. 

I need this venue.  It helps clear my head, organize my thoughts, and reinforces my sanity.  Yet I can't seem to effectively write a coherent sentence.  I think it's a vicious cycle.  Too many thoughts are overwhelming so when I sit down for my "therapy" everything sort of falls out in crazy and chaotic ways. 

Yet I have to keep trying.  It's important.  I don't want to let another year go by without sharing anything.  I'll go crazy. 

Generosity of strangers

 Our family has been blessed lately by the kindness of strangers.  Particularly complete strangers who volunteer their time at local fire departments.  It has opened my eyes to the wonderful men and women who make up the fire service in our communities.  After a short but sweet letter was sent to local fire departments inquiring about the availability of a department patch for my 4-year-old wannabe firefighter's firehouse themed bedroom, we have received an outpouring of love and kindness from people in the fire service.  For months now, Nathaniel has received letters from firefighters explaining how they, too, loved firefighting when they were his age and grew up to be real firemen.  He's received patches from nearly 35 organizations.  One gentleman wrote a letter and told a story about his 5-year-old twin sons who didn't quite take to firefighting like their Daddy so he sent Nate a collection of patches he'd saved over the years.  We received packages with fire safety materials, key chains, stickers, pencils, calendars.  You name it!  The outpouring of generosity has been amazing.  As you may recall from reading this, our local fire district even drove the entire fire company over to our house to personally deliver Nate a patch, many goodies, and give him a real fire helmet and a ride in a pumper truck!  They have been generous to him and us ever since.  These are truly fabulous people!  

Now to a four-year-old boy who loves fire trucks, fire equipment, and wants to be a fireman when he grows up (yesterday!), this means the world!  He has made so many "friends" in local fire departments that he feels a part of this community even though he's years from being able to join their ranks. 

Obviously the excitement is infectious, as well!

So, a few weeks ago, when a member of the Albion Fire Department stopped by and asked if his crew could bring a truck over to deliver Nate an Albion Fire Department patch, we were thrilled!

I was impressed with the time and effort they had given us - on a weekend, on their own time, out of district.  So I asked the guys if they had training that day or if they were getting together just to pay my Nate a visit and one of the guys said, "We love doing this sort of thing because that (he points to Nate) was us when we were his age!"  

Nate kept running to the garage to get pieces of his "fire equipment" to bring back and show the guys (pliers, rubber mallets, air hoses, etc.), all with technical names (closet hook, pike pole, self-contained breathing apparatus) and the firefighters would show them their equivalent (the real thing).  Nate was in awe.  And the firefighters  were shocked at his wealth of knowledge.  One guy said to me, "he knows more than some of the guys who have been doing this for years!"

Finally, Nate's new firefighter friends suggested we get a photo of the whole crew in their gear....with their newest "member", Nate, among the ranks.  The gigantic hearts found beneath turn out suits and Nomex hoods is impressive to say the least.