Black Cloud

It's been months since I posted anything here.  It's not because there hasn't been anything noteworthy happening.  Quite the opposite, actually.  We've had big stuff going on.  Lots of firsts to report.  Memories made, big adventures to share.  It certainly isn't that I haven't had the words running around in my head.  Lord knows I am never in short supply of random thoughts, worries, concerns, memories I want to remember and stories I'm itching to share.

What I'm lacking (lately) is clarity.  Focus.  The want and desire is there...but the follow through and the coherent thought and motivation needed to get the words out is conveniently missing.

Today, however, was one of those days.  One of those days that compounds everything I've been feeling for months and makes it bubble over.  I've had many of these days lately, but today had a face (or faces), and stories of sadness, loss, and heartache.  So many friends suffering.  So many of my friends receiving bad news and struggling through their own journeys.

And it wasn't just close, personal friends, it was friends of friends.  National news stories.  Local news stories.  So much pain and sorrow.  Marital conflict, messy, ugly divorces, freak accidents, untimely deaths, health issues in babies too young to know even have a start in life, tragic losses and horrible circumstances that make you question God, people, society....everything.  

Today was a Bad News Day.

As I sit here typing this, Alex is laying in my lap sleeping.  I look down at him and can't help but count my blessings.  Sure I've got my fair share of issues.  Stuff is far from perfect in my world...but my family is all HERE, we're all HEALTHY, and SAFE.

Life is short and fragile.  That's for sure.  It's my one hope that while I'm here I can make a difference, leave my mark, and create a legacy of some sort that lives on long after I'm gone.  If I can do that, then I will have done my part.  Until then, I'm off to hug my babies just a little tighter.  I suggest you do the same.

Learn Something...Five Minutes

"Sometimes it's easier to give _____ (the dog, your kids, a project, etc.) 5 minutes of your time and attention rather than deal with the 20 minutes of frustration that comes from not giving that time"

I know this isn't an earth shattering realization, but it's just so true - about so many things.

While trying to get things done this afternoon, I got frustrated with the dog for being underfoot and nipping at me every time I tried to go anywhere.  I turned around and she was right behind me.  I would try to head downstairs to throw laundry in and she was on my heels, nipping at my pants and charging through the door to the basement.  So after at least 20 minutes of getting frustrated and yelling and not getting anything done, I stopped what I was doing.  I got down on the floor with her and gave her my undivided attention for 5 whole minutes.  I threw her ball, she chased it.  I sat on the floor, she curled up in my lap and rolled over for a belly rub.  She nipped at me, I gave her her rawhide to chew on.  She just wanted to play.  And after 5 minutes, she left me alone and let me do my thing.  

This is so true of so many things in my life.  How often does Nathaniel say "Mom, Mommy, Mom, Mommy!" and as soon as I give him the attention he's demanding he says "Um...I...uh...nothing"?  He doesn't need anything or have anything specific to say.  He just wants my attention.  If I give it to him, instead of trying to finish the dishes, he feels justified and moves on.  And I get to finish my dishes in peace.  

So with that being said, I can see the same correlation in devoting my time and attention to the projects I so desperately need to get done.  In the long run it will have been easier to spend 5 minutes chipping away at them than the 20 minutes needlessly spent worrying about how they're not done.   Don't you think?  Seems logical enough.

So that is what I learned today and what I hope to keep at the forefront of my thinking and apply regularly.  Hey, it can't hurt, right?