A lesson learned...through his eyes

My 6-year-old keeps a photo of me in a frame on his shelf above his bed.  It's a ceramic frame he and his friends painted, decorated, and put their names on for his 5th birthday party at one of those paint-your-own-pottery places.  The photo of me is from 1994, my senior year of high school.

Tonight at bedtime, we were doing our nightly routine of "Day Talk" (where we tell each other, hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, about our days) and Alex said something about how he loves that photo.  I asked him if he even knew who it was and he said, without hesitation, "It's you, Mommy".

Now, I look at that photo and I don't see me.  I see a 17-year-old version of who I used to be.  I see a young, thin, pretty girl, with the whole world in front of her.  She had adventures to go on, wild animals to tame, and dreams to conquer.  A far cry from the frumpy, old, haggard version of me before him.

But here was my sweet, innocent, 6-year-old saying, without skipping a beat, "It's you, Mommy!"

I jokingly responded, "How do you know that's me?!?"

"Because I see your same eyes."

"The same smile"

"The same hair"

"The same teeth"

"The same..."

He looked at this picture of me from 20+ years ago and he saw me just as he sees me now.  He didn't see the absence of wrinkles then vs. today's dull, lack luster skin.  Instead he looks past my greying hair and the no-longer-straight and certainly no-longer sparkling white teeth I once sported in my youth.  It didn't even phase him that the girl in that picture is easily 100 lbs lighter.  That she saw hope and promise in a world she has since become skeptical of.  He simply saw ME.  He saw his Mom.  He sees the same person NOW that I was back then.  And in that moment...so did I.  Now to practice holding on to that...

Mr. Science x2

Nate has shown an interest recently in science.  He found a penny in the driveway a few months ago and proceeded to marvel when I soaked it in some white vinegar to clean it up.  Ever since then, he's perked up at the very hint of anything to experiment with/on.

So, for Christmas this year, I requested science-y (total word!) things to encourage his curiosities.  As usualy, his Aunt Wendy (my brother's wife) came through in spades.  He scored a rocket kit, a clock kit to build using a lemon (!), and a really cool crystal growing kit.

Being fresh out of lemons and with it only 26 degrees outside with a windchill near single digits (and I am NOT launching OR building a rocket in my house!), we opted for the crystal experiment.

The boys suited up in protective gear.  (Hey, it was recommended and as you know, my firefighter boys take safety very seriously!)

I gave them each their tasks and we got to work measuring, pouring, mixing, and sprinkling.

Then came the waiting.

Not so easy for a 4 and 6-year-old, but I promised them the payoff would be well worth the wait.

A mere 20 or so hours later, the boys "checked on" their crystals and found this...

 According to the directions, the crystals will reach optimum size in 4-7 days, at which time we can drain off the liquid, dry them out, and put a top on the jar to keep them indefinitely!

I think it's pretty cool and the boys like to check on them every few hours to see what (if anything) has changed.  Such fun!

Stay tuned!  I'll (try to remember to) share the final result!

I learned...

While traveling some 2,200 miles on a train with my boys and two of our favorite people, I learned quite a bit.

First and foremost I learned that I am not crazy, as many thought when I told them of our plans.  I knew it would be a challenge with a 2 and (barely) 5-year-old but I vowed to go into it with an open mind and an adventurous soul and was blessed with immeasurable rewards in return.  I want to thank Tiffany and Brielle for taking on this journey with us because not only did it make the trip that much more fun and memorable, but it gave me the courage and support I needed to forge ahead when so many thought I was insane!  Especially since when Tiff signed on for this trip she originally thought I was suggesting a trip to Portland, MAINE.  HA!

I learned that people FROM Oregon, do NOT pronounce it Or-eh-gone as I had, but rather, Or-uh-gin with a soft g sound).

I learned that the people here are all amazing! Sweet. Helpful. Friendly. Polite. Even, dare I say, genuine? Great group of people!

I learned that a city really can be clean and cultured and safe and pleasant all at the same time!!  Portland must have some amazing systems in place because I have never seen a cleaner City.  The buildings were clean, the streets were clean (and liter free!), and everywhere you went they offered "green" options (hold the bag, skip the coffee liner, reduce, recycle, reuse!).  They even had these most fabulous solar powered garbage compost bins.  Throw your garbage in and solar energy compacts it somehow.  Pretty cool.  It must be a healthy city, too...everywhere you went there were bike racks (even little kid ones outside their daycares/schools) and there was a big push for biking, for example, bike trails and bike lanes).  I waited at a stop light in a line of cars that was just as long as the line of bikers on their daily commute.  So cool!

I learned that train travel is so much better than plane travel. Even with the delays and extra time it takes, it sure beats the anxiety and stuffiness of flying. I’d take the adventure over the convenience any day!!  You have to go into it with a flexible attitude but that is just up my alley!  We were treated like royalty and most of the staff were wonderful and sweet!

I learned that traveling anywhere with my two small children is NOT crazy, it’s FUN. They are troopers. They adjust so easily to any circumstance or situation, they’re flexible, they go with the flow and they love the adventure as much as I do. Sure they had their moments when listening, behaving, and taking naps were not their strongest skills, but considering the excitement, the chaos, the schedule, and the time changes, I think they were amazing!!

I learned that I really do have the best family! They are worth traveling across the WORLD for, much less across the country! I have been blessed with a family I am proud to call mine. I wish Marc & Lindsay the best of everything in their new life together and am so glad I was able to make it to their wedding. What a great time! Welcome to the family, Lindsay!!

I learned that this country of ours is gorgeous.  Just as I had made an assumption that certain states were boring (North Dakota was flat, Montana was snowy and blowy), our return trip would show me the beautiful trees "sugared" in freshly fallen snow in North Dakota.  Or I'd get to see Montana on a bright, sunny day with the bluest sky you've ever seen!  And Washington...oh, Washington.  What a beautiful state!  The mountains and the lakes...and how the later reflects the former!  It was a sight to behold!  I could spend days just soaking in the sights of Washington!  Oregon was gorgeous itself - everything covered in the most glorious green you've ever seen.  Coming from the drab brown and stark white of winter in New York, this was magnificent!  

Most importantly, I learned that if you don't DO what you dream, then you're just hollowly TALKING about your goals.  And talking about it doesn't get you any closer to actually living your dreams.  I am so glad to have made this trip and look forward to many more adventures to check off my "bucket list"!

  

More Lessons to Learn...

A visit to the Homestead is always a learning lesson for the boys.  I love visiting my parents because there is so much rich tradition to soak in.  I hadn't planned to stop over to visit today but my sister and niece were visiting so I dropped in and inadvertently interfered in wood cutting day.  I wasn't prepared to help much much I kept the kids out of the way and out of the creek while managing to get some cute photos of them playing in the woods.  

The entire walk back to the creek was one giant learning lesson with Grandma as our tour guide.

First, she stopped to show the boys where a raccoon was perched high in a tree, sleeping its "night" away.  

As we walked through the park and down the path, she made sure to point out every deer track and even found the tunnel made by a mole in the dirt.  She doesn't just make sure the boys see them, she tells stories, uses details to teach them about the animal that made the track or why they travel/eat/hunt/sleep the way they do.  It's a learning lesson for ME and love watching my boys soak it all up!

 When we got to the creek, we learned about water currents, tadpoles, water spiders, gravity, and more.  It's remarkable what there is to learn simply by being outside.

We found some "eatin' grass" (chives) the boys got to sample.

 And then stopped again to inspect the tunnel made by the mole.  Fascinating stuff!

At work I write grants for the youth in our service and have recently learned of a very real phenomenon called Nature Deficit Disorder.  Richard Louv wrote a book entitled Last Child in the Woods about this problem and spotlights a "trend that children are spending less time outdoors, resulting in a wide range of behavioral problems." (Wikipedia) There are real world lessons to be learned by getting outside and taking in what nature has to offer.  Everything from Math to Science can be learned simply by getting out and surrounding yourself with the sights, sounds, smells, and happenings in nature.  It amazes me the differences in children who have experiences like my children are afforded and urban kids who don't get outside to learn such lessons. It makes me even more grateful for my upbringing, my amazing family, and the legacy that I get the share with my children. 

Learn Something...Packing

"Packing for two children for two days away, requires 2 weeks worth of stuff!"

I wish I were exaggerating, but I'm not.  The boys and I are taking a road trip to visit our dear friends Tiffany and Brielle in New York City!  We figured why not extend our usual adventures down to the Big Apple while Tiff is working there for the month!?!

So we head out today and will spend the weekend in the big city.  I am giddy as a school girl and looking SO forward to a girlie weekend with two of my favorite girlies!  Can you say "slumber party"!?!?

Woo hoo!

Ok, now that I'm done sounding 12-years-old...

I have been packing for this trip all week.  It started with a grand plan to get us all there in one suitcase.  Ha!  That wasn't working so I decided on one suitcase for the boys and one for my stuff and all their miscellaneous stuff.  Then it spread into two suitcases, a duffle bag, a cooler, a box of tricks for the car ride, and a bag of goodies to throw at them during the 6-hour trip down.  Don't forget the pillows, blankets, bedtime bear, glow seahorse, boo bankie, Bolt, pacifier, diapers, camera, stroller, and pack and play.

It's two days and two nights and requires enough stuff to last two weeks.  Seriously.  PJs for two boys for two nights, an extra pair (or two!) in case they wake up wet each morning...which has been known to happen lately!  Two outfits, two pairs of socks, two pairs of undies for Nate, plus at least one more outfit, a pair of socks and extra undies for emergencies!  Toothbrushes, soap, diaper cream.  The comforts of home take up even more room. There's warm weather gear and cold weather gear, since it is March in NY, afterall! 

I know I'm overpacking as this is what I do.  But I'd hate to get down there and be missing something that could make our trip more enjoyable, memorable, easier...you get the picture.

Anyway, here goes...Road Trip 2010!

Wish us luck!  I'll share photos of our big adventure when we return!!  NYC, here we come!!

(Gee, I hope I didn't forget anything important!)

Learn Something...Five Minutes

"Sometimes it's easier to give _____ (the dog, your kids, a project, etc.) 5 minutes of your time and attention rather than deal with the 20 minutes of frustration that comes from not giving that time"

I know this isn't an earth shattering realization, but it's just so true - about so many things.

While trying to get things done this afternoon, I got frustrated with the dog for being underfoot and nipping at me every time I tried to go anywhere.  I turned around and she was right behind me.  I would try to head downstairs to throw laundry in and she was on my heels, nipping at my pants and charging through the door to the basement.  So after at least 20 minutes of getting frustrated and yelling and not getting anything done, I stopped what I was doing.  I got down on the floor with her and gave her my undivided attention for 5 whole minutes.  I threw her ball, she chased it.  I sat on the floor, she curled up in my lap and rolled over for a belly rub.  She nipped at me, I gave her her rawhide to chew on.  She just wanted to play.  And after 5 minutes, she left me alone and let me do my thing.  

This is so true of so many things in my life.  How often does Nathaniel say "Mom, Mommy, Mom, Mommy!" and as soon as I give him the attention he's demanding he says "Um...I...uh...nothing"?  He doesn't need anything or have anything specific to say.  He just wants my attention.  If I give it to him, instead of trying to finish the dishes, he feels justified and moves on.  And I get to finish my dishes in peace.  

So with that being said, I can see the same correlation in devoting my time and attention to the projects I so desperately need to get done.  In the long run it will have been easier to spend 5 minutes chipping away at them than the 20 minutes needlessly spent worrying about how they're not done.   Don't you think?  Seems logical enough.

So that is what I learned today and what I hope to keep at the forefront of my thinking and apply regularly.  Hey, it can't hurt, right?

Learn Something...Talk Less

As I talked about here, I have been working on paying attention to the lessons in every day.  The problem is, as I learn things about myself and become more self aware, I often like myself less instead of accepting myself more.  However, the first step is becoming aware, right?  Then I can work on improving things that need work, I suppose.  

The first thing I've learned in this little experiment is that I talk too much.  I've always been guilty of it.  I used to get report cards home from school that showed how well I was doing academically but always said I talked too much in class.  Apparently that hasn't changed as I've gotten older.  I get it from my father.  He's a talker.  Considering my social anxieties it's surprising, actually, that I am, too.  I guess it's my way of (over?) compensating for my fears.  Maybe it's because I'm desperate for people's acceptance.  So, what better way to get it than to scare them away by babbling too much.  I know, makes perfect sense, right?

As I realize this flaw of being a "gasbag" (and have had it reinforced by everyone I know), I vow to talk less and listen more.  Talking too much annoys people and I don't want to annoy anyone.  People don't care about my stuff anyway.  I'll "talk" here on my blog instead!  

(Aren't you guys lucky?!?)  :)

That way if you don't want to "listen" you can just stop reading - deal?

Learn Something

 

This is a new blog project for Amy over at Bring Yourself. I absolutely adore this idea so I am taking part (sporadically, I'm sure, but I'll do what I can...)

You know the old saying, if you're not learning, you're dying...and who can't stand to learn more? I feel as though the 30s has been primarily the age of introspective learning for me, about me: how I tick, why I tick, learning to accept myself the way I am. As I learn these things, it's important to share and at least document the journey. What a great way to do it!

As Amy writes here:
  "This project is about learning in a different way. I want to learn different things. Instead of big, earth shattering things, I want to learn things that are important to me. I want to find things out about myself and the places I go. I want to explore and investigate the world. Even if that is just by taking my dogs for a walk in the woods or having a conversation with someone I don't know.
  As soon as I learn something, I am going to write it down on the nearest scrap of paper. I will photograph it there and then and share it with you. The sharing will be a part of the learning."

I love it. Will others join me?