Thursday, May 28, 2009

Inanimate Sentimentality

Today's Thinkbox drawing (chosen by my beloved husband) garnered the following question:  "Do you remember your family getting a new piece of furniture, a new car, or something similar when you were a child?"

As long as I can remember I've always had an unnatural attachment to things.  The mass quantity of boxes in my basement are a true testament to that fact.  I have old notes from middle school, tokens of love from high school, reports and papers from college.  Shoes I wore to the prom, a shirt an ex-boyfriend let me keep, old cats-eye glasses of my grandmother's.  Each item holds a memory, an old feeling, a reminiscent spark from a time gone by.  

It's a problem, really.  The number one reason why I find it so difficult to downsize and simplify my life.  But it's been this way for as long as I can remember.  I get attached easily to material things.  Which brings me to my answer to today's thinkbox question.

When I was little (I'd guess maybe 5 or 6) my parents traded in their grey station wagon (It had an actual name but I don't recall it at the moment - phantom?  ghost?)  Anyway, I vividly remember taking that car to the dealership where we were picking up our new (1980-something Renault Alliance!) and leaving that car behind.  I was DEVASTATED!  I clung to the backseat of that car and cried my little eyes out.  I was a mess!  I sat in that backseat and hugged the car, told the car that it had been a good car, that it wouldn't be forgotten...Sad, I know.  Ok, less sad - more pathetic.  But still - I was genuinely torn up!

What does this say, besides that I'm a freak?  Ultimately I think this really shows that I hate change.  At least in the case of the car.  I was NOT ready to warm up to a new car - a new seating arrangement, new fit and feel, or perhaps I was simply hesitant to have to learn the new location of the cupholders.  Who knows, really?  

As for my boxes in the basement.  That is more about my fear of forgetting.  I have a horrible memory and holding on to STUFF dupes me into thinking that I will somehow remember all the adventures, mishaps, relationships, and fun I've had along the way.  Too bad that doesn't guarantee anything.  

Lord help me when it comes time to trade in my precious Honda Civic!  Millie has been very good to me for the last 10 years and 120,000 miles!  And truth be told, I'm not ready to have to figure out how to re-program a new clock for Daylight Savings Time!  Oh, no!  I can feel the tears welling up as I write this!  Does anyone have a tissue?!?


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