As I sit here on the eve before your 1st birthday, I am strangely calm. Not that I shouldn't be, I suppose, but I had a very hard time when Nathaniel turned one. Yet tonight I am not the emotional wreck I was then for some reason. I look at you as you sleep tonight and feel at peace. Yes, my baby is growing up (too fast!) and that makes me sad. But as you grow and learn and explore you bring me such immeasurable joy. I can barely put into words what fun, light, and pleasure you add to my life. Your smile is infectious and a snuggle from you can make my grey skies blue. As your mother it warms my heart to see you exploring your world. The well-earned pride you show with each new skill you master is enough to keep me going even on the toughest days. I especially love watching you and your brother interact. The bickering is already very much alive and well but so is the protection, the camaraderie, and the love. That is what I enjoy the most! I am so happy to be your Mommy and I vow to always do my best for you and Nathaniel. You are such a special little boy and your Daddy and I love you very much!