Tuesday, June 9, 2009

...in a handbasket

There are days when I wonder what this world is coming to.  Days, like today, when I'm so fed up with the downward spiral society seems to be taking that I want to pack up my family and head to the mountains to raise them and protect them from all that we've become.  

When did doing the right thing get replaced by selfish, hurtful, lazy acts of UNkindness?  Why can't people seem to step outside of their bubbles or look beyond the ends of their noses to see that they're not the only ones in the world.  What ever happened to people realizing that their words and actions affect people around them?  It's as if people today are not raised with an empathy for anyone else.   Common courtesy is no longer taught and narcissism reigns supreme.

We've all been there.  You're walking two steps behind someone, with an infant car seat in one hand, a toddler in the other, and a diaper bag falling off your shoulder - only to have this "thoughtful" stranger ahead of you sneak through the door without a backward glance or even the slightest attempt to hold the door for you.  You get budged at the checkout line because you look away for a second as you reach out to redirect your wandering toddler.  Groups of kids at the mall hang with their buddies and drop f-bombs just as you walk by with your kids, as if this string of obscenities is natural or somehow vital to the oxygenation of their blood.

Today is worse for me than usual.  I feel duped.  Victimized.  I know that's melodramatic for the "tragic" events of my day, but it's the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.  Assuming I was a camel, of course.

Today started as any other Tuesday.  I was running late, having had to celebrate the first full night Nathaniel slept without "Blue Paci-fighter"!!  (Yeah!)  I was having a bad hair day and had nothing to wear due to my gross negligence surrounding the gigantic laundry pile in my bedroom.

But I never saw this coming.  Rewind back a couple months and you would find me stumbling upon a blog for a young pregnant woman who was grieving the tragic diagnosis her unborn daughter had just received that did not bode well for her survival.  I have been riveted by this story.  She captivated me with her fascinating perspective on faith, her amazing way with words, her human like emotions, and her resounding strength against such incredible odds.  More recently, you would see me glued to my computer screen as updates were coming in on her blog about the arrival of sweet little April Rose - born alive and a true miracle!   Last night when I had gone to bed, this sweet baby girl was not doing well.  Just as was expected, she began to struggle and was seemingly losing her battle.  I awoke this morning to check her status....and the blog was gone.  Disappeared.  "Link not found".  I found a discussion thread asking for prayers for April Rose and her family and began to read (in horror!) as hundreds more were reeling from the news that this whole thing was a hoax - an elaborate "fictional" tale spun to lead us on.  For what reason, though?  Why would someone do that?  Money?  Glory?  Attention?  It's horrible.  She had thousands of people hanging on her every word.  Dare I say, MILLIONS, praying for her and "April Rose".  I had even told Nathaniel the story of a little girl who was sick and needed our prayers so we could pray for her at bedtime.  It's just sickening. I don't know what to think about the whole thing.  I just know I feel dumb and that people suck.  More accurately, people just can't be trusted, apparently.  

Then there's my new car.  I just got it on Sunday.  Brand spanking new.  I've literally driven it twice (three times if you count the test drive).  I refuse to put my kids in it just yet until I can get it scotch guarded and force-field protected.  I took special caution to park at the back of the parking lot at work, away from heavy traffic and flying baseballs from the field above.  Yet, what do I find when I get home from work today?  A two-feet long GASH along my back bumper.  What is WRONG with people?  What makes it ok to just HIT someone's car and not DO anything about it?  What happened to doing the right thing and leaving info?  And these are my CO-WORKERS.  People who by NATURE should be good people since they've chosen to help people for a living.  Ugh!  For those of you who know me, you know this is equally frustrating because this is the THIRD time in less than 4 months we've gone through car damage issues.  I guess the black cloud has been passed along.  

I'm just frustrated that people seem to disappoint me over and over.  (And when I say "people", I hope you know I'm speaking broadly.  I do realize this is quite general and that there are certainly exceptions.)  I can't tell you how many times just in the past week that I've sighed or been disgusted with someone's behavior or actions (or INACTION, at times!).  Nate notices things and will ask me, "What's the matter, Mommy?".  How many times can I explain to my 3-year-old that people aren't always nice?  That sometimes people do things they shouldn't do even when they know better?  

This brings me back to my hole.  The one I want to dig and live in.  The one in which I'd like to put my family and friends and bury us all away from the rest of this world.  It just seems like society is forcing us to be more skeptical, less trusting, more cynical and less giving.  Kind hearted people are taken advantage of.  Honestly good people are ridiculed or judged.  I was taught to be friendly and give people the benefit of the doubt.  I always believed good prevailed over evil.  But I'm not so sure about that anymore.  Don't get me wrong, I believe there is good in the world.  I also believe it's worth doing.  But I do believe it's getting harder and harder to make a difference against the strength of evil.  There's strength in numbers.  And the odds are not in our favor anymore.  


Tifkota said...

I had to think about this a bit before posting a comment. I am so sad for you. I am sad that someone violated you. I am sad that you were duped by someone. Mostly I am sad that you are losing faith in the existence of good people. From the outside of your life looking in, I have a few optimistic observations:
I am thankful that "April Rose" either does not exist at all, or is a perfectly healthy little girl (although her mother's mental health is questionable). I would not resent the time that you spent in prayer. That was your quality time with God, and with your Bug. You still taught Nate that there are sick kids out there and that we need to pray for them. Even if April Rose was not real, there are plenty of real ones. God knew that when you were praying. He knew the truth, even though everyone else didn't. He gave your prayer to someone who needed it. Also, you were praying for her mother. Clearly, that person needs prayers too. She seems as though she has problems and needs help. She deserves our pity and prayers still.
As for your car, that sucks BIG TIME. Let us hope that the person that did that is very upset that they did it, but simply can't come forward because they cannot afford to. Let's hope that they need every penny they have to feed their children or care for a sick family member. They don't know that they hit YOUR car, someone who won't take them for every last cent they have. Let's hope that maybe they come forward when they can. We can pray for them, too.
So speaking of prayer, I am praying for you my dear friend. I am asking God to restore your faith in humanity. I pray that you are able to witness an act of kindness or be the recipient as soon as possible. I'll do what I can in the meantime. Since my head is usually in the clouds, I will come to you and break the black cloud above your head up into a million little pieces of puff. Hang in there and know that we are raising our kids to be the "good guys"! Love you! xoxo

Matt said...

I agree with you whole-heartedly. People are so inconsiderate sometimes, and it is a real pet peeve of mine. I take it very personally, and one of the things I never really learned growing up (and have not internalized as an adult who is still evolving) is that people will let you down, and most of the time they aren't even aware of the pain they are causing you. About the fictional blog story, it seems I have heard about several books lately which were purported to be factual but ended up being fiction. While I can appreciate someone feeling duped by this and feeling 'used', ultimately if you got something of value out of the story then it is not all that bad. The fact that you could share the story with Nate is great, and perhaps he learned a lesson from it, just not that people lie. :) I am sorry for your persistent car woes, I know how that goes and it is frustrating when it is brand new! As long as you continue to surround yourself with quality people (Your husband, Pam, and Tiffany being three such folks) then you can be sure that your kids will get raised the 'right' way in a world that sometimes seems so 'wrong'.