...in a handbasket

There are days when I wonder what this world is coming to.  Days, like today, when I'm so fed up with the downward spiral society seems to be taking that I want to pack up my family and head to the mountains to raise them and protect them from all that we've become.  

When did doing the right thing get replaced by selfish, hurtful, lazy acts of UNkindness?  Why can't people seem to step outside of their bubbles or look beyond the ends of their noses to see that they're not the only ones in the world.  What ever happened to people realizing that their words and actions affect people around them?  It's as if people today are not raised with an empathy for anyone else.   Common courtesy is no longer taught and narcissism reigns supreme.

We've all been there.  You're walking two steps behind someone, with an infant car seat in one hand, a toddler in the other, and a diaper bag falling off your shoulder - only to have this "thoughtful" stranger ahead of you sneak through the door without a backward glance or even the slightest attempt to hold the door for you.  You get budged at the checkout line because you look away for a second as you reach out to redirect your wandering toddler.  Groups of kids at the mall hang with their buddies and drop f-bombs just as you walk by with your kids, as if this string of obscenities is natural or somehow vital to the oxygenation of their blood.

Today is worse for me than usual.  I feel duped.  Victimized.  I know that's melodramatic for the "tragic" events of my day, but it's the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.  Assuming I was a camel, of course.

Today started as any other Tuesday.  I was running late, having had to celebrate the first full night Nathaniel slept without "Blue Paci-fighter"!!  (Yeah!)  I was having a bad hair day and had nothing to wear due to my gross negligence surrounding the gigantic laundry pile in my bedroom.

But I never saw this coming.  Rewind back a couple months and you would find me stumbling upon a blog for a young pregnant woman who was grieving the tragic diagnosis her unborn daughter had just received that did not bode well for her survival.  I have been riveted by this story.  She captivated me with her fascinating perspective on faith, her amazing way with words, her human like emotions, and her resounding strength against such incredible odds.  More recently, you would see me glued to my computer screen as updates were coming in on her blog about the arrival of sweet little April Rose - born alive and a true miracle!   Last night when I had gone to bed, this sweet baby girl was not doing well.  Just as was expected, she began to struggle and was seemingly losing her battle.  I awoke this morning to check her status....and the blog was gone.  Disappeared.  "Link not found".  I found a discussion thread asking for prayers for April Rose and her family and began to read (in horror!) as hundreds more were reeling from the news that this whole thing was a hoax - an elaborate "fictional" tale spun to lead us on.  For what reason, though?  Why would someone do that?  Money?  Glory?  Attention?  It's horrible.  She had thousands of people hanging on her every word.  Dare I say, MILLIONS, praying for her and "April Rose".  I had even told Nathaniel the story of a little girl who was sick and needed our prayers so we could pray for her at bedtime.  It's just sickening. I don't know what to think about the whole thing.  I just know I feel dumb and that people suck.  More accurately, people just can't be trusted, apparently.  

Then there's my new car.  I just got it on Sunday.  Brand spanking new.  I've literally driven it twice (three times if you count the test drive).  I refuse to put my kids in it just yet until I can get it scotch guarded and force-field protected.  I took special caution to park at the back of the parking lot at work, away from heavy traffic and flying baseballs from the field above.  Yet, what do I find when I get home from work today?  A two-feet long GASH along my back bumper.  What is WRONG with people?  What makes it ok to just HIT someone's car and not DO anything about it?  What happened to doing the right thing and leaving info?  And these are my CO-WORKERS.  People who by NATURE should be good people since they've chosen to help people for a living.  Ugh!  For those of you who know me, you know this is equally frustrating because this is the THIRD time in less than 4 months we've gone through car damage issues.  I guess the black cloud has been passed along.  

I'm just frustrated that people seem to disappoint me over and over.  (And when I say "people", I hope you know I'm speaking broadly.  I do realize this is quite general and that there are certainly exceptions.)  I can't tell you how many times just in the past week that I've sighed or been disgusted with someone's behavior or actions (or INACTION, at times!).  Nate notices things and will ask me, "What's the matter, Mommy?".  How many times can I explain to my 3-year-old that people aren't always nice?  That sometimes people do things they shouldn't do even when they know better?  

This brings me back to my hole.  The one I want to dig and live in.  The one in which I'd like to put my family and friends and bury us all away from the rest of this world.  It just seems like society is forcing us to be more skeptical, less trusting, more cynical and less giving.  Kind hearted people are taken advantage of.  Honestly good people are ridiculed or judged.  I was taught to be friendly and give people the benefit of the doubt.  I always believed good prevailed over evil.  But I'm not so sure about that anymore.  Don't get me wrong, I believe there is good in the world.  I also believe it's worth doing.  But I do believe it's getting harder and harder to make a difference against the strength of evil.  There's strength in numbers.  And the odds are not in our favor anymore.