I'm finding that as time goes by, things change.
I mean, I KNOW things change, but I guess it's the absence of ANYTHING staying the same that has me surprised.
Not only do we get older and our bodies change, our preferences change, our jobs change, our spouses change (for some of us, that is), our homes change, our cars change, our furniture changes, our styles change, our routines change, neighbors change, friends change (some friends obviously stay the same but even those friendships change and morph into fresh new versions of themselves as circumstances fluctuate).
Even love changes with time. It grows stronger, it fades, it ebbs and wanes but it doesn't stay the same. Nothing does.
What I'm finding the most sad, though, is how my QUICKLY my children change. Not only do they grow up, learn new things, get bigger. But their little quirks and those behaviors that I hold so dear are disappearing.
Nathaniel has always had a myriad of blankets he goes to sleep with every night. None was more special than the next, but he needed at least one of them to travel and ALL of them to sleep. The cute habit he had was holding the blanket up to his nose and sniffing it in order to fall asleep. It was consistent, reliable, and PRECIOUS! I realized recently that he doesn't do that anymore. How sad! Where did that go?
Little things like the butchered way he used to say things or the funny words he'd use to label things (fweh = pacifier...hey = elephant...) I was again reminded of this bittersweet fact the other morning when he asked "Mommy, where's my paci-fighter?" Words he would say, such as, "Butt Fry", recently became "Bugga Fy" and I know that it will all too soon this will morph into its intended version: "Butterfly". I miss that.
To look at my baby and realize that in just a few short months, he went from this:
And now is doing this:
It just boggles my mind!
People have reminded me that there is joy and pride to be had in these little achievements. Each new thing my children learn is progress and accomplishment. And I do realize this, superficially. It's just hard not to miss those little things. Especially when you have a memory as horrible as mine. Those cute quirks are no sooner done as they are gone. It all goes by too quickly and changes too often! So my best option is to blog about these moments before they change too drastically and completely disappear. I vow to write down their adorable habits, funny pronunciations, and hilarious stories of daily life. And share them with all of you! (lucky guys!)
Until I can find that proverbial pause button to stop things long enough to sit back and take it all in, I guess I will just have to focus on living in the now, enjoying the current moment, and soak in as much as I can as life whizzes by!