Simple Woman's Daybook...January 11, 2011

FOR TODAY...January 11, 2011

Outside my window...it's winter.  Snow.  Cold,  Gray.  Typical for this time of year. 

I am thinking...about the future.  Where I want to be in 10 years.  What choices I should be making to get there. What is happy to me and am I there?  It's deep stuff, but I figure I can't just let it happen.  Can I?  I feel like I've let my whole life just sort of happen.  If I want to have any control over where I am and how happy I can be, I need to start taking the reins. 

I am thankful for...the many opportunities that have come my way lately.  I am reaching outside my comfort zone, doing things that are challenging and a little unknown and learning and growing exponentially as a result.

I am wearing...an outfit I'm horribly uncomfortable in.  Most of my clothing options lately fall into this category.  I know I need to do something but just. can't. seem. to. MOTIVATE!  I'm stuck in a vicious circle I can't seem to get out of.  Like those blasted traffic circles, driving around and around and around, unable to turn off.  Everyone makes it sound so easy but I don't agree.  Logically it makes sense: Eat less, eat better options, exercise more (or at all for that matter).  I just can't. 

I am remembering...all the things I have to pack for our trip.  Swimming gear, beloved blankets, loveys, diapers, clothes, entertainment for the trip, food, stroller, camera, medicines, chargers, etc., etc., etc. 

I am creating...recently I was lucky enough to be given the chance to create the logo and business cards for a property services company I'm doing some p/t bookkeeping work for.  It reminded me of a previous life when I had my own desktop publishing "company" (S.Y.S.tems Desktop Publishing) and did start-up business packages (logo design, business cards, letter head and envelope design) for local contractors. I only did a few but it brings me great pleasure to see my logo still being used by at least one of the companies.  It's an amazing feeling of pride even if it was 10 (or more!) years ago.
     
I am going...to NYC!  The boys and I are heading down to NYC/Long Island area for a whole week to spend a glorious time with our favorite people, Tiff & Brie!!  I can't wait.  Of course I have serious anxiety over the trip itself.  Seven hours alone in a car with two small children in January.  It doesn't sound like the smartest idea, but we can't schedule these sort of fantastic adventures so we'll take them when they come!  We will spend the week hanging out, swimming, playing, touring, and relaxing (when Tiff's not working, that is!)  And of course, we will miss Daddy while we're gone, but I think the time away will re-energize us all!  He deserves a break and the boys will appreciate getting away from the "normal" every day stuff. 

I am reading...a couple things.  I am bringing them both with me and hope to get some reading time in, but we'll see.  In the meantime, I have started my second audio book and am riveted by the story...An Unfinished Life, by Mark Spragg.  I found myself parked in the parking lot at work waiting for them to finish the chapter the other day for almost 10 minutes!!

I am hoping...not to just ramble all my thoughts here and then forget about them like I usually do.  I really do want to change things.  Myself.  My outlook.  I just figure I won't follow through now any more than I usually do.  I need some accountability.  But how?

I am hearing...general background noise.  Hums, squeaks, taps.  Virtual silence, actually.  It's nice.

Pondering these words..."There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding". A little knowledge behind every "I don't know" A little emotion behind every "I don't care" And a little pain behind every "it's okay"?  
My brilliant friend, Heidi, posted this on FB yesterday and it's SO true.  I've always felt this way. 

Around the house...lately there's chaos, clutter, and tension.  The winter months have us hiding inside for long periods at a time.  It's been too cold to get the boys outside to play much and we've fallen out of sync on some of our usual get-out-of-the-house activities with Tiff & Brie being away.  Nate's attitude has been HORRENDOUS.  He's mouthy, argumentative, and has an awfully BIG attitude for his 4-year-old frame!  He's been losing privileges and beloved toys left and right lately!  It doesn't seem to be helping at all, though!

On my mind...Nate's behavior lately.  He is sweet as apple pie one second, being playful, cracking jokes, giving hugs for no reason, and then like a switch, he gets mouthy, starts fighting with me, his brother, the dog, and starts mouthing off.  I didn't expect this at four.  Fifteen, sure.  But FOUR?!?  I feel unequipped to handle this stage.

Noticing that...I'm in a bit of a funk today.  I need to snap out of it.  Oh SUNSHINE, where ARE you!?!?!

One of my favorite things...this blog.  It allows me to share my innermost thoughts, feelings, and dreams in a non-judgmental forum.  (At least if I AM being judged no one tells me...so I'll take it!)

A few plans for the rest of the week: Christmas celebration with Auntie Pam and the Ayers Clan; Walk 'N Talk with Heidi, haircuts for the boys and I, packing, and ROAD TRIP!!


Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

A rare moment to get outside and play.  

It was in the 20s this day so it didn't last long, but we enjoyed it while we could!

Be sure to check out more Simple Woman's Daybook entries!