I read an article on FB with these 10 questions to ask yourself to "end your year intentionally". I'm not really sure what that means, but I liked the idea of summarizing the year - kind of like putting the memories of 2021 into a figurative box so I can close it up and start 2022 fresh. So, let's do it!
1. What makes this year unforgettable?
The most unforgettable aspect of 2021, besides the obvious global pandemic, would undoubtedly be almost losing my husband to a "widow-maker" heart attack in May. Every minute spent since that day his life was spared has been a gift. That's not to say he doesn't still drive me nuts or make my blood boil, but I see the blessings in his just being here. Every milestone that has been met since that day, every event attended, every ordinary day spent making memories, I have stopped to think "what if" and the alternatives are scary. I couldn't imagine getting through covid, seasonal wind storms, National Honor Society inductions, football seasons, annual traditions, or holidays without him by our side. It was a real eye opener. Not just to focus on health more but to remember that every day is a gift and time is not promised to anyone. I see the blessings we have much clearer these days.
2. What did you enjoy doing this year?
As a result of our eye opening experience with Dave's heart attack, I tried to be a little more spontaneous. We took trips to cool places when we could, said yes to new experiences more freely, and just tried to make fewer excuses for NOT living more.
3. What/who is the one thing/person you’re grateful for?
I am grateful for SO MANY people. In an effort to name just ONE, however, I will pay tribute to a GROUP of people...my friends. I am eternally blessed with some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. And I'm not being coy. I mean these people are from all aspects of my life - high school, various jobs, places I've lived, friends my children have made. And each one of these fabulous people have been there for me. They've supported me, helped me in various ways - physically, mentally, spiritually - and given me strength and sunshine when I needed it most.
4. What’s your biggest win this year?
This is a hard one for me. It's been a tough year for me, mentally. I've struggled a lot. I've been teetering on the edge of a breakdown for months so to feel as though I've won at anything is challenging. But in all of that, I survived. And THAT would have to be my biggest win. It hasn't been graceful or pretty, but I'm here. Next year I will work on taking better care of myself, being more kind, more patient, more productive. But for now, I am happy just to have my head slightly above water.
5. What did you read/watch/listen to that made the most impact this year?
I don't spend a lot of time reading anything. TV shows aren't really my thing. And it's hard to listen to anything in my house, but I've watched a lot of Tik Tok and listened to a lot of music. While neither of these things are super impressive, they are inspirational. A lot of emotion can be pulled from the lyrics of good music. Much of which can be considered relatable on some level. And sometimes feeling is good...regardless if it's good or bad feelings, at least it's something. Tik Tok has a lot of garbage but it also reminds you that there is good in the world. It shows you snippets of smart, funny, talented people who are spreading positivity and kindness in the world. And it simultaneously inspires you to be better, do better, try something new...while reminding you that you are not the only one struggling, feeling sad, gaining weight, etc.
6. What did you worry about most and how did it turn out?
Besides the obvious worry about Dave and his health, I worried a lot about my boys (as I always do) and a lot about my own health.
Dave is doing great so with the exception of worrying about another heart attack for him, his health is good and he's doing well.
The boys always keep me on my toes. Every new phase and growing pain has me hoping they're ok. I want them to be strong and mentally healthy. I worry that they're not opening up or sharing. But they're great boys and I'm eternally lucky to have them. They are my rocks.
7. What was your biggest regret and why?
My biggest regret would definitely be NOT taking better care of myself this year. I kick myself thinking of how far along I could be in my progress towards a healthier me by now, if I had JUST STARTED.
8. What’s one thing that changed about yourself?
For better or worse, I started worrying less about what people think of me. Not entirely, but more.
9. What surprised you the most this year?
The divisiveness in our country has both surprised me and saddened me. It feels foreign and it's very distressing.
10. If you could go back to last January 1, what suggestions would you give your past self?
Again, I would remind myself to just do it. Whatever IT is, I should do more and procrastinate less. No excuses.
