A Queen Among Kings

GF Journey

2012-02-03T23:36:00.000-05:00

So, since embarking on this journey towards being gluten free for my three-year-old, I've learned a lot.

I have to say it's not nearly as challenging a change as I thought it'd be. I feel lucky to live in a society and an age when awareness is heightened. Our local grocery store has an entire Gluten-Free section full of options. Betty Crocker and General Mills are making (or at least advertising) some of their products gluten-free.

I haven't struggled to find available options and substitutions for the stuff we (and my picky eater) are already used to eating.

My challenges have been in trying to explain it to Alex, counteracting all of the outside influence there is in what we eat, and getting my husband on board with the concept.

To get Dave on board, he said he wanted concrete proof that this is what Alex needs...a diagnosis to validate these (expensive!) changes. So, I talked to the doctor and Alex got some (more!) blood work done so (more!) tests could be run.

They tested for Celiac's Disease, food allergies (Wheat, nut, milk, soy, and corn) and looked at his kidney and pancreas functions. Then we waited. All the tests came back....NORMAL.

Grrr...as much as I don't want Alex to have to avoid things and eat in a complicated fashion for the rest of his life, I was (secretly) hoping this was our answer. I spoke to the doctor tonight and he did say the tests are not 100% accurate...that there is a chance Alex could have a SENSITIVITY to gluten without having an INTOLERANCE (and testing positive for Celiac's). He said the only way to know for sure is to see a GI specialist and put Alex through a colonoscopy and intestinal biopsy (which he DID NOT recommend!). There is no way I'm putting my 3-year-old through any of that just to support my theory. The improvements I've seen are enough to warrant my wanting to continue with this diet.

Even if it's not 100% elimination, it HAS to help to eliminate it as much as possible...right?

Wordless Wednesday...Skype-ing Across the Miles!!

2012-02-01T05:50:00.000-05:00

I love that technology makes loved ones so close when they are (in reality) hundreds of miles (and hours!) away!

Happily in the Past

2012-01-27T22:01:00.000-05:00

I was looking at a newsletter I get via email earlier tonight and realized the entire thing consisted of items, products, and stuff relevant to a stage of parenting I am officially PAST.

Everything in it - pacifiers, nursing pillows, diaper bags, baby carriers - was all stuff I can (happily!) say I'm over and no longer need!

I spend a lot of time being sad about moving out of those baby years. I can spend hours missing the sweet smell, sounds, and "ease" of a snugly baby. So, I think it's helpful (and healthy!) to focus on the positive things about moving beyond the proverbial balls & chains of those early years.

Now, mind you, my boys are only 3 and 5 so we're not completely out of the woods yet, but there is still a lot of freedom to be seen as they get older. Sure, I still grab a (pre-packed) bag with extra clothes and undies in it, just in case. I still have occasion to pack that "emergency" snack and/or toy to occupy and distract a bored child. But the light at the end of that tunnel is BRIGHT.

I recently packed the boys up for an overnight at Grandma & Grandpa's so Dave and I could have adult time at the Fire Department banquet. I used to have to pack two weeks worth of stuff for two boys to take a two day trip. This time, I packed one small bag (with PJs, toothbrushes, and clothes for the next day) and a pile of blankets & Pillow Pets. End. Of. Story. Loved it!

Now I can throw the boys in the car (NOT literally!) and run to the store, visit a friend, grab dinner, or what have you, without a big "to do" (whatever that even means!).

There's a breath of fresh air to be found in their independence (they WALK by themselves, mostly, buckle and unbuckle their own car seats, mostly, and can even help carry things!). I have recently even begun (*gasp!) taking the stroller out of my trunk!! I find I use it so infrequently these days. (I KNOW!)

However, there is still that issue of what to do with all this stuff we've "outgrown"...I have a basement full of "useless" (to us) stuff - changing table, high chair, crib, boxes and boxes of clothes, bumbo, toys - I just can't bring myself to pass it on.

Hmmm...I guess I'm not far enough removed not to have an emotional attachment to this stuff. So, perhaps I'm not as far past this stage as I thought?

Pride

2012-01-24T21:57:00.000-05:00

We attended our first fire department banquet the other night. I wasn't sure what to expect but it was a lot of fun. The highlight of the night, of course, was Dave winning two awards.

The first was for Most Active in Company Training.

Then, much to both our surprise, Dave was given the Chief's Award for his help and assistance with firematic duties.

The best part, though, came when the boys got home to see Daddy's awards.

Nate was so excited and in complete awe of Daddy's achievements.

He was so proud of his father and I loved seeing the gleam in his eye.

Of course within minutes, (as fully expected!) Nate asked if he could put these prized possessions on the collection shelf in his room.

So Daddy obliged.

As I left the room, I heard Nate whisper "I'm so proud of you, Daddy" as he kissed the plaque on the wall. *sigh* So precious.

Another First...Lost TEETH!

2012-01-24T21:21:00.000-05:00

We have achieved another first in our family. Last week (January 13th to be exact), Nathaniel came home from school and we went about our evening as usual. Ate dinner (spaghetti with meat sauce), watched a movie, snuggled on the couch. At bedtime I told the boys to go brush their teeth. After brushing they always come "eeee" and "Ahhhh" for me so I can do an inspection of their "work".

So, Nate comes out, asks how he did and I say "Um, Dude, where's your tooth?!?!?"

He had a big gaping hole in his teeth where one tooth had been and another hung on for dear life. So I grabbed a hold of his remaining loose tooth and when he pulled his head away the tooth stayed firmly between my two fingers.

Of course he then began to bleed. Let me just say, for a boy who revels in blood and doom and gloom, he totally freaked out.

The gamut of emotions he proceeded to work through was, in a word, hilarious. I hope that doesn't sound mean. But he was all over the place. He cried. He screamed. He laughed. He thought he might bleed to death. He was afraid his friends would pick on him and think he was a freak.

Then he'd get all excited and giddy. Followed by upset that the tooth fairy would be mad that he lost (swallowed?) his first tooth. Sprinkled with some more giddy, some nervous laughter, and even more crying. I could not keep up.

He was very excited to (finally!) get to use the "Army Fire Truck" tooth pillow Grandma made for him. He proudly tucked his tooth inside and excitedly went to bed, full of questions about the tooth fairy and what she would do about his missing tooth.

The next morning he awoke to TWO shiny quarters (the tooth fairy is hurting from the economy, too, you know!) and a neatly printed (and funky folded) note from the Tooth Fairy about how proud she was and that it was ok that he lost his tooth. She knew about it anyway. And he was thrilled!

I still can't get quite used to the new "landscape" that is now my big boy's smile. He looks so grown up with a gaping hole in his teeth. It makes him lisp ever so slightly, too... which I love, but I assume that will go away like other adorable (and fleeting!) mannerisms and habits.

I'm just so proud of my Bug. What a handsome boy. Congratulations, Nate! One more milestone met!

Ch, Cha, Cha, Changes

2012-01-23T22:44:00.000-05:00

Lots has been going on here in the Smith Household the last few weeks/months.

Nate is in full swing in Kindergarten...he's seemingly moved on from the bully incident(s) and I'm finally in (some sort of) a groove to keep up with all his nightly/weekly homework, reading requirements, and projects. Every day he comes home with some story of kissing Lily or asking Paige to marry him (!)...his idea of the most tragic day ever is when someone breaks his crayon or hits him with a piece of paper at play time.

Dave has (finally!) gone to get a sleep study done, proving once and for all that he DOES in fact have sleep apnea (severe, actually - I won't say "I told you so", but...) and was fitted for his CPAP machine today. Tonight is his first official night on it and I'm hoping to wake up to a new and improved (a.k.a. well rested) version of my husband. That might require a miracle, though, so maybe I'll give it some time?

As for Alex...he's been complaining about his tummy hurting for a while and after the hundredth time or so Dave and I thought maybe he wasn't just using it as an excuse to avoid bedtime, nap time, cleaning up, etc. So, I took him to the doctor's. His pediatrician ruled out all the major threats (appendicitis, bowel obstruction, etc.) and sent us on our way with directions to monitor what he is eating and when he complains and instill a "do not flush" policy so we can see what his poop looks like. Fun times. By the time I got home, however, I had a call from the doctor saying his urine test had shown some sugar in his pee which can be a sign of diabetes. So off to the blood lab we went the following morning. We were told not to give him food or drink so we headed in first thing when they opened - 8 AM. What a torturous experience THAT was! One cranky phlebotomist, two unsuccessful attempts, and nearly three hours later and we were driving uptown in pursuit of a good phlebotomist who had a knack for sticking children with needles so we could finally feed our three-year-old!

Long story short, his blood tests came back negative for diabetes (thank goodness!) and didn't show any other problems - if his stomach issues persisted we were to come back in for an ultrasound to check his gall bladder, kidneys, and other stuff.

Then I got a phone call from my mother, who for at least the third time, suggested I look into Celiac's Disease and the possibility of him having a gluten allergy. I poo poo'd the idea, as I had at least twice before because, as an infant, Alex had been tested for a lactose intolerance and had come back negative on milk, soy, nut, and wheat allergies. If he's not allergic to wheat, he can't have a gluten intolerance, right?!?!

Wrong.

It turns out the two are related, but not dependent of each other. You can have one without the other and vice versa. So, I started reading and just stuff started making sense - his suspected lactose intolerance that suddenly disappeared, his mystery anemia that didn't respond to supplements, his tiny size, his stomach issues, those stinky poops he's had since he was a BABY? All of these things were indicative of a gluten intolerance.

So, I called my doctor, suggested this theory and was told it was worth trying. After much reading, learning, and inquiring, some initial resistance from my husband (who has since come around) and a (more expensive than usual) grocery shopping trip, we started Alex on a gluten free diet. We switched over his cereals, bought rice and quinoa pastas, substituted gluten free snacks, and inspected the labels on a hundred items in our cupboards to find which we could and couldn't feed him.

I'm happy to report (initially, of course) that after a little more than a week of being (mostly) gluten free (the occasional non-gf item sneaks through at school or when he "shares" with his brother or other kids), things are looking up. The most notable difference to mention is that he's actually EATING. He's always eaten like a mouse...little bits at a time, all day long. But now, he'll clean his plate. He hasn't complained about his tummy all week and seems less "naughty" than he had been leading up to this experiment.

Sure, it could all be a happy coincidence, but it definitely seems promising enough to stick it out - I've seen enough good change to keep going with it. It certainly can't HURT, right?

Worth its weight...

2012-01-23T21:21:00.000-05:00

I was grumbling this morning as I woke up at 4 AM to find Nate in the living room with the television on, watching Rescue Heroes for the umpteen millionth time. Alex had maneuvered his way into our bedroom (again!) and I (thought I) had two more hours to sleep before my alarm rudely reminded me that it was Monday and I had to go to work.

As I lay there, trying to kick my hubby hard enough to stop his snoring and repeatedly telling Alex to close his eyes because "it was the middle of the night" (more or less!)...I opened my eyes to find my beloved monkey staring at me with the biggest, most beautiful smile on his face. Now, anyone who knows Alex knows he has a smile to DIE for. It melts my heart. Everytime. 4 AM is no different.

So, I smiled back and in his characteristic Alex way, he whispered, "Are you happy, Mommy?" (He usually asks that when he thinks he's in trouble or I'm upset with him - and it's usually worded as "Are you happy TO me, Mommy?"

I could have died right then.

These are the moments I'm gonna miss. Aside from all the cute misuses of grammar and the funny things they call their most prized possessions...

This is the stuff that life and all its good times are made of.

I might complain about Alex's sleeping habits, get frustrated with his having to be physically attached to me at all times....but truth be told, I know these moments are fleeting. I know they won't last. And I know they are pure gold. So I'm (secretly) ok with him curling up at my feet in the middle of the night, or having to be touching me to fall asleep at night. It's (secretly) ok if he talks incessantly (about nothing) before falling asleep or asks me to sing him "Little Bunny Foo Foo" again and again.

Because when he turns to me in the middle of the night, as exhaustion is pulling me apart at my seams, pokes me in the nose and whispers "honk, honk...beep, beep"...all the frustration in the world melts away and I realize that this is worth its weight in gold and then some.

I Heart Faces...Best Face Photo From 2011

2012-01-09T19:52:00.000-05:00

This week's photo challenge over at I Heart Faces is "Best Face Photo from 2011". I immediately thought of this picture, which always makes me smile!

I took this photo of my beloved Alex being his silly goofball self during the only significant snowfall we've had all year. The snow lasted just until the sun rose and melted it all. It has not been a typical winter in NY this year, so we were happy to get this snow, even if it didn't last until Christmas! At least I have this photographic proof that it existed. And who can resist that face? Of course, it's one of my personal favorites :)

This photo was submitted to the I Heart Faces photo challenge – www.iheartfaces.com

In the Wee Morning Hours...

2012-01-08T03:39:00.000-05:00

It's 3 AM and I can't sleep.

I blame the cup of coffee I had at 8 o'clock...although it's probably more likely the 1,009 things I have bouncing around in my brain right now.

That's what brings me here. To attempt a brain dump so I can go back to sleep...wish me luck!

Worry is primarily my topic of concern this evening (morning?). Worry can be such a wasted emotion, for it doesn't solve anything yet still robs me of precious sleep and adds to my already high stress levels.

In a nutshell, my BFF has been having some mystery health issues (for someone who is the epitome of health and wellness, this is even more concerning!) - She's one of the strongest people I know so to see her "down and out" is distressing. I wish I could swoop in, pick her up (as she always does for me) and make it all better. I hope the recent round of testing she's had done comes back with some (positive and uplifting!) answers!

On a less dramatic note, Nate told me last night before bed that when he "swallowed spit, it hurt his neck really bad". That has strep throat written all over it so I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worse. I've been up three times tonight just to check on him. I'm not sure what I'm even checking for (fever?) except that it (temporarily) puts my mind at ease so I can go back to sleep for another hour or two. Except this time. He's sounds asleep without a care in the world, and I'm here! :)

Alex has also been saying his "tummy hurts" for the last day or two. For a kid who is so tiny and eats so little, it has his father and I questioning if maybe there isn't something more there. As my baby, I think I worry about him more anyway.

And personally, this growing older thing stinks. I know I'm only 35, but lately I've had so many aches and pains I can't help but worry about all the "ailments" that come with age. I've put on WAY too much weight lately (and I already had too much as it was!) and I notice a significant difference in the way my joints feel as a result. My hips hurt, my feet hurt. My body image is at an all time low and I need to do something but that evil cloud of depression is making it difficult to put a plan into motion. That's a whole other post for a different day, though.

So, for now...I guess I'll go waste, er, I mean spend some time over on Pinterest. Maybe someone has a board of ideas on how to get back to sleep before my boys get me up at 6 AM. G'night, all!

Classic Grandpa

2012-01-04T23:55:00.001-05:00

After posting some Christmas photos last week, my sister posted a photo on my Facebook wall and pointed out a theme she had noticed. I, too, had further proof of this and found it too cute and funny not to share!

Here is a picture of my father, whom I still affectionately refer to as Geempa (Man, I wish that had stuck but of course Nate had to start PRONOUNCING things correctly, darn it!) holding his youngest grandchild, my niece, Coraleigh on Christmas Eve, 2011.

Here Grandpa is again, holding my son, Alex, in November 2008

(Are you sensing a theme yet?)

Grandpa and my niece, Kensington

November 2008

And finally, Grandpa and his first born grandchild, Nathaniel.

May 2006

We love you, Grandpa!

Goodbye 2011

2012-01-02T12:55:00.000-05:00

Easily, 2009 could have been called "the year of the concert" - for whatever reason I went to a LOT of concerts that year ("a lot" compared to the none that I usually go to!). 2010 was "the year of the fire departments". Between visits, activities, open houses, etc., we spent a lot of time in and around fire trucks, fire houses, and with fire men and women.

This past year, 2011, will definitely go down as The Year of the Travel. I took so many trips this year, I can't even remember where all of them took us!

The boys and I traveled to Long Island for a week in January and to Albany in May to visit Tiffany and Brielle while they were there on a work detail. The whole family drove down to Pennsylvania in May for a fireman's convention and the boys and I made the trip again in August for a friend's wedding. We took several trips up North to see family and stay at Grandma and Grandpa's "camp". We went camping in various locations with numerous friends and frequented many festivals, carnivals, parades, and County/State Fairs.

NYC, January 2011

Pennsylvania Fire Expo, May 2011

Alex with Pink Eye in Albany

Albany, May 2011

Pennsylvania, August 2011

The highlight of our year, of course, was our cross-country train trip from NY to Portland, OR. The boys and I traveled a total of nearly 140 hours on the train trip of a lifetime!!! It was definitely a trip that will live in my my top 5 experiences of all time!

We had a lot of firsts this year, too...first ice skating trip, first family bowling excursion, first demolition derby, first controlled burn with the Fire Department, first day of school (Kindergarten for Nate and Nursery School for Alex), first swimming lesson, first tee ball game, first tractor pull....We got our first baby chicks who grew up to give us our first fresh eggs. We found our first baby turtle that we made a friend until he grew up to outgrow his cage.

I did my first photo shoots for people outside my immediate family, got my first kayak for my birthday, lost a couple classmates from high school, welcomed my new niece, Coraleigh Shae, met some photography goals I had set for myself, and had a stellar year at work with my grant success rate! This year was also the first year (since getting married 6 years ago!) that Dave and I actually got to spend our anniversary together!! He got Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off, too...finally his work rotation paid off!! We'll take it every 6-7 years :)

This coming year I hope to meet more goals, purge more clutter from my life, be more positive, and spend as much time as physically possible with my family and friends. I hope you all have a great 2012!

Christmas Memories 2011

2011-12-29T23:31:00.000-05:00

I feel inclined to document at least some of our Christmas goings on for posterity so bear with me. I'll keep it brief.

Christmas 2011

(My niece, Kensington and Alex)

Christmas Eve was at my Mom's as usual.

We had lots of fun time hanging with the family.

We all got a ton of snuggle time with my new niece, Coraleigh (also know as Ardie or Ardie-chokie)

Grandpa and Ardie shared some quality time (somewhere I have photos of my Dad doing this very pose with both my boys, I should dig it out for comparison!)

As per tradition, we did a grazing meal where we each bring appetizers and stand around and gorge ourselves all night, vs. a big prepared meal we sit down for and someone has to slave over. So we had FOOD, lots and lots of food...(including my Mom's Choco Acorns, my FAVORITE!!!)

There was lots of excitement over great gifts!

All were comfy, snuggled up, warmed by the woodstove

(Brother-in-law, Chris, with Coraleigh)

There was playing with cousin, Ian (who Nate now calls "Sport" because of

the shirt he was wearing on Christmas Eve)

Then home to put cookies out for Santa, and get to sleep!

Santa brought Alex his very own tool box...he's been "fixing" stuff all over the house ever since!

Nate got a fire house and Santa brought him his very own Red Ryder BB gun (!)

It took less than 20 minutes to create this destruction on Christmas morning.

Big brother, Adam came over for presents and breakfast and helped Alex build with his new tinker toys.

Then he brought out the "big guns: and helped Alex assemble a wooden boat kit he got...such handy men!

Alex got to ride his ATV while Daddy and Nate went out back to try out his new BB gun. I guess no snow for Christmas wasn't ALL bad.

We had Dave's family over for dinner/dessert on Christmas Day. Then had a completely lazy day after Christmas. That night, we loaded the boys up into the car with their PJs, blankets, and bags of popcorn and drove out to Waterport to catch a light show we had heard about.

The spectacle boasted some 40,000 lights set to music and was pretty impressive! Totally worth the 15 minute drive!

It was nice to have Daddy home with us to enjoy the WHOLE holiday weekend! Usually he has to work most or all of it so this year was quite a treat!

Now, the massive job of un-decorating has to be done (my least favorite part) but for now, we'll just enjoy the lights, mess, and chaos as we ring in the new year!

Giant Baby Steps

2011-12-29T22:41:00.000-05:00

A couple months ago, I bit the bullet and decided to take some ACTION in achieving my dreams. Sitting back on my laurels and hoping for something to happen wasn't getting me anywhere. So, I established Dream Big Day (Monday) to give me some concrete time set aside specifically to chisel away at my to do list. That very first DMD back in August, I decided to start small and upload a photo I had recieved much positive Facebook feedback on to Kodak's Picture of the Day website.

Well it paid off!! On October 14th, Kodak picked MY picture for their POTD! I stumbled upon it a couple weeks later and was SO excited to see MY picture staring back at me from their website!

As silly as it sounds, I felt RECOGNIZED for my photography! It was one of those things on my "bucket list" that I could officially check off. One (giant!) baby step made...now I can move on to my next "big" thing. (Whatever that is!)

Since then I've received requests to purchase copies of the print and it spurred enough confidence for me to set up my first THREE photo shoots for families other than MINE! It's definitely a start! I have so much to learn, but I have the best support system in the universe so hopefully 2012 will be a BIG year for me and for Queen Among Kings Photography!

SOS

2011-12-29T14:50:00.000-05:00

Is anyone still out there?!?

It's been so long since I posted anything here I feel like I need to write a long, rambling post complete with minute-by-minute details of our life from the last month or so just to catch up. *Breathe* But that would be REALLY boring for those of you (still) reading this blog. :) So, as 2011 draws to a close, it is my intention to post a few (shorter) stories to share (so as not to forget them) but to hopefully try and keep your eye bleeding to a minimum.

So much to say with so little time!!

Hope your Christmases were fabulous, fun, and filled with friends and family! I'll be back! (No, that's not a THREAT!) :)

Random Updates

2011-11-18T15:45:00.001-05:00

Hello! I feel like it's been forever since I actually wrote anything of substance on here. What a whirlwind life has a way of becoming! I thought I'd write some brief updates for anyone still reading :)

It's November. Opening day of deer season is tomorrow (!!). Thanksgiving is less than a week away.

Nate had the nighttime pukies earlier this week. Except for the time of day (3 AM!), it's actually pretty easy for me. Nate's what I like to call a "champion puker". Does he deserve a medal or an award for his skill? Perhaps. But I call him that because he is the only kid I know to treat throwing up like some grand adventure. The other night he came excitedly into my room and said "Mommy! I just puked ALL OVER! Come look!" He then regaled his father with a tale of his early morning pukings as if he had just fought a pivotal battle in a war. The kid throws up, gets it out of his system and then carries on. No crying, no fuss, no drama. All day he was fine and then at night he'd have an episode. Bizarre, I tell you. But at least I'm lucky with his sort of simple ease. Champion. See?

Alex has fallen comfortably into those Troublesome Three's everyone talks about. He has piss and vinegar running through his veins. Sweet and charming one second, and evil and rotten the very next! Love him to death but man, three is a challenging age!

I've been doing big things (for me anyway!) and marking things off my bucket list at record speed (OK, so that's an exaggeration, but progress is something!) :) I'll talk more about that after our big hunting weekend (wherein I'll hopefully have photos of me with my big buck to share!) :)

Until then, enjoy a camera phone photo (or two) of my sweet boys (since that's all I have at my disposal right now):

Wordless Wednesday...Slip Sliding Away

2011-11-09T11:48:00.000-05:00

Introducing...Mr. Stink Eye

2011-11-06T18:59:00.000-05:00

You met Mr. Ugly Face some time ago.

Well, now I have Mr. Stink Eye to introduce you to.

He's mean.

Angry. Evil. Up to no good.

But he sure is cute.

10 on 10 : October 2011

2011-10-10T22:44:00.001-04:00

I totally forgot about the 10 on 10 today until almost 10 (oh, the irony!) while I was already at work. So I decided to do this month's challenge using only what I had in my pocket (my cell phone) and my office (see photos below). As a reminder, the premise behind 10 on 10 is to take one photo an hour for 10 hours, forcing one to notice the little things in life and find beauty in ordinary moments. Enjoy!

For more 10 on 10 compilations, be sure to check out here.

Flashback Friday....A History of Alex

2011-09-30T22:43:00.000-04:00

To bring Alex's birthday week 2011 to a close, I thought it only fair to do a photographic flashback summary of some highlights from his last three years...These are in no particular order. I just picked a random sampling of photos from the past. Enjoy!

Meeting big brother

♥ My fuzzy haired boy ♥

photos by Sweet Potato Photography

Alex with his beloved "fway"

He had this strange infatuation with Aunt Wendy's fuzzy socks!

photo by Antiquities

Dirty Boy

1st Birthday

At his baptism with Godparents, Aunt Wendy, Uncle Noah and Aunt Tiffany

And somehow, in three short years, the little spud above grew into this handsome little boy.

How does that happen!?!?

Another First....Field Trip!

2011-09-29T13:34:00.000-04:00

Alex got to go on his very first field trip in nursery school today! They lumped the two classes together to go all as one so he got an extra special day out of this week (he usually only goes to school M/W/F) and was able to see the friends he made on Open House night before we switched classes on him.

We met at Partyka Farms at 9:45 and got our apple picking adventure off to a quick start!

The whole class (and parents) took a tractor drawn wagon ride out to the orchards. Mrs. Grimm led us in a spirited rendition of "The Wheels on the Tractor" while we bounced our way to the apples.

Once in the orchards we learned all about what the apples are used for (the Jonagolds they were picking today would be sent to Motts to be made into applesauce, sold at Wegmans' Food Marts locally, and hauled off by Peterson Farms to be cut up into apple slices used in McDonald's Happy Meals!).

We learned where the Jonagold variety came from (it's a mix between the Jonathan and a Golden Delicious). And we learned the proper way to pick an apple (Everywhere your finger touches on an apple leaves a bruise so you want to twist it at the stem).

We got to meet and talk to an experienced apple picker, Louis who has been traveling the harvest circuit for years perfecting his apple picking speed, skill, and finesse! He was impressive!

Then we got to get into the action with our own picking!

The best part, though, was yet to come!

The EATING!

A quick wagon ride back to the store and then we got to feed our apple cores to the goats!

Just when you thought the fun was over, we got to play on the playground! What a fun day at the farm! I'm so glad the rain held out for us and I'm even more grateful for having the flexibility at my job that allows me to participate on these fun excursions! I wouldn't want to miss these moments for the world!

Alex at Three.

2011-09-28T07:22:00.000-04:00

Alexander Kevin - 3 years old

September 27, 2011

It's no secret of course, but Alex, you have a smile that simply lights up my world.

Among your favorite things are trains, tractors, trucks, and balls! You’re definitely an athlete in the making with a natural affinity towards hitting, throwing, running, and kicking butt!

You are an avid artist and LOVE drawing and painting…especially all over yourself. You hold a pencil/pen/marker perfectly and even “sign” your name by writing an “o” and a very deliberate “x”. You can also spend hours playing with Moon Dough or Play-doh.

You started school this month and love it! You are currently one of only two boys in your class with 5 older girls. You think your teacher’s name is Mrs. Cole. (It’s actually Mrs. Grimm...Mrs. Cole is Nate's teacher.) Your backpack is Thomas and you’re currently learning the colors (starting with Red).

You can count to 20 (and sometimes more) and recognize/name the letters that spell your name. When you see your name written you'll say "It says, Ax-AN-der" - even though it usually just says "Alex".

You have no fear when it comes to climbing, jumping, flipping, spinning, hanging, etc. We even signed you up for acrobatics this year to encourage the inner monkey in you. Besides that, you LOVE dancing so it all works. (You don’t even need music playing but if a good song comes on, you will drop everything to get up and wiggle it).

You are definitely my “shy boy” when it comes to seeing strangers or meeting new people. You eventually warm up, but it takes a while.

Much to our surprise, we have successfully done away with your pacifier using the nightly “We Don’t Need No Pacifier” song/dance. It's a huge hit. Even went platinum on the Parenting charts, I think.

In the past 6 months you have come a LONG way in the potty-training arena. I'd say you are 95% potty trained, with the exception of nighttime which we're conquering night by night. Not to mention, you look so stinkin’ cute in your big boy boxer briefs, I can’t even stand it.

You do still say “far fuck” for fire truck, but I'm okay with it. It's adorable and makes me smile. Other things you say ridiculously cute include: "paper", "diaper", basically anything that ends in an "er". You say it with a French flair: "Pay-pair", "Dye-pair"....it's awesome. I also love when you say "I on it, Sir!" when I ask you to do something! In fact, you speak not only clearly and in complete sentences, but in complete paragraphs, using correct grammar, appropriate adjectives, and exquisite detail. For example, this morning (instead of simply saying "I crashed") you said "Uh oh! I just crashed my ATV into this trailer right here, Mom!". Pretty impressive.

You sleep every night with "Big Fuzzy Blue Blanket". She’s 4 times as big as you but you’ll wad her up and drag her all around the house. As you fall asleep you find her “fluffy” side and pick at her so when you wake up there are little blue fuzzies everywhere (thus, Digger FUZZ Bucket).

In the past year we've worried about your size. The doctor's say you're ok but you are tiny. As long as they're not concerned, I will love every last bit of your itty bitty package. You're the only kid I know who can literally WEAR OUT your clothes, though. You still wear clothes I saw you wearing in photos from your 2-year-old post last year!

You've been put on iron supplements and ultimately was sent to a specialist to have your iron levels tested repeatedly when they weren't improving. We've been to the emergency room for a mystery 105+ degree fever. And you've come down with every strain of random childhood disease possible (Hand, Foot & Mouth, Croup, Coxsackie Virus, Whooping Cough, Fifth's Disease). In three short years, you've had it all :) But we love you to pieces.

You have about 10 nick names, all of which fit you to a "T" so of course they have all stuck and are used interchangeably! Whatever name you're going by though, you make us laugh, smile, even burst with joy on an HOURLY basis. "Two" proved to be a challenging year for you with your burgeoning attitude and independent streak, but I love the little man you've become. Your personality SHINES and I can't wait to see how you grow in the years to come.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Boo!

2011-09-27T22:40:00.000-04:00

Alex woke up this morning to a surprise of monumental proportions (to a 3-year-old anyway)!

He got his very own Power Wheel ATV! In no time he was zooming all over our 5 acres! I even had to go track him down to say goodbye to him when I left for work!

Nate even got a chance to ride it before he had to get on the bus to go to school!

After work Alex had acrobatics class and then we had to rush off to pick Nate up from latch key at school, so by the time we got home daylight was fleeting. But that didn't stop my little rogue rider!

Alex requested a special birthday dinner of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese (you can tell he's three!) and then we opened presents from Grandma and Grandpa!

It's a tradition in my family that on my siblings' birthdays we would get one present to open while they opened theirs. My Mom has carried this tradition forward and will bring the boys a present to open while their brother is opening their birthday gifts.

Then we got to sing "Happy Birthday!" and Alex ate one of the yummy monkey cupcakes from his party.

Happy birthday, Boo! Your celebration will continue some more tomorrow when you get to celebrate yet again with your nursery school friends!

Party Time!

2011-09-25T21:48:00.000-04:00

Today we had Alex's monkey-themed birthday party. Surrounded by friends and family, we got to shower our little monkey with love and attention.

My friend, Karen, made Alex's beautiful (and DELICIOUS!) chocolate monkey cake and vanilla cupcakes. Alex specifically requested the banana when we cut the cake!

Dave gave complimentary "Murray Express" rides to the kids which were a huge hit! Even baby Ian got in on the action!!!

When it came time to blow out the candles on the cake, Nate graciously offered his services for Alex's assistance. He can be so helpful, if he wants to be. :)

And Alex was so proud of himself after he blew them out!

He sure does love his "black cake"! The more to mess with, Mommy!

Even Nate thoroughly enjoyed his cake.

Monkey Business

2011-09-24T21:31:00.000-04:00

Ok, as promised back in March...I am officially kicking off Birthday Week 2011 for my Monkey. Alex turns 3 on Tuesday and the celebration officially begins tomorrow with his monkey-themed birthday party for friends and family.

So, join me in celebrating my Digger Fuzz Bucket/Monkey/Sunshine/Boo/Velcro-boy. I am excited to bring some spotlight to all of the wonder, joy, and entertainment he provides in my life.

Another First - Pre-School!

2011-09-12T21:29:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe but my baby started pre-school today. Two weeks shy of his 3rd birthday, he started in a 3/4 yo program offered three days a week through a local church. He could not have been more excited!

I was a little nervous about dropping him off with Daddy. He has a bit of a Mommy complex so my leaving threatened to be more dangerous than if Daddy had simply dropped him off. However, I couldn't even consider missing his first day.

So, I risked it.

And he did better than I could have hoped! He was so happy to be there with his new teacher and new friends (all girls!) and kissed me goodbye with a "Goodbye, Honey!" and carried on about his business.

I was so happy to get a call from him after he got home with Daddy for lunch and hear all about his coloring with markers, feeding the bunny, and remembering to bring his (red!) car home from show and tell.

I can't believe how quickly my littlest man is growing up. But he finally got to go to a school all his own instead of just standing at the door with his backpack on crying as Nate went off to UPK last year! And he couldn't be happier about it!

Another First - Kindergarten!

2011-09-12T21:06:00.001-04:00

Obviously, it's been a busy week around here! September marks Birthday Month for most of my family members so it's a busy month anyway. Add in new schools and new schedules and paperwork and appointments and preparations and you have crazy time!

As you may have read, Nathaniel started Kindergarten last week. He loves it and is even enjoying latch key after school. His teacher is nice and he recites her motto "zip it, lock it, put it in your pocket" about 100 times a day! I'm not quite sure how I feel about that yet. He says it with so much spunk it sounds attitudinal. Anyway, I digress....

So, because I had a few more photos I wanted to share, I thought I'd write this "update" of sorts on how the first week (ok, 4 days) of Kindergarten has gone. He loves to kiss his baby brother goodbye before he heads out the door.

The days are very long. Nate starts his day waiting for the bus around 8:15 and doesn't get out of school until 3:40. Then he spends an hour or so in latch key until I get there to pick him up so by the time he's home, he's a bundle of fun (sarcasm). I'm hoping his tantrums and crying streaks diminish as he adjusts to the long days, but until then, my limits of patience and understanding are tested daily.

Every night last week ended with him screaming "I don't want to go to bed, I'm not TIRED!". Followed by minutes of complaining about anything (the temperature, his itchy underwear, his uncomfortable bed, his brother's Big Fuzzy Blue Blanket touching him...you name it). It's a mere minutes later when I hear the comforting sound of yawning and finally SNORING to know he was in fact tired and Mama always knows best.

So, as he goes off on the bus tomorrow and for days/weeks/years following, I am thankful for his independent spirit, his uncanny ability to make friends where ever he goes, and his insatiable curiosity and thirst for learning. Go get 'em, Bug!

Bursting with Pride

2011-09-11T23:41:00.001-04:00

Today, as we honor and remember the 10th anniversary of the tragic events of 9/11, my heart is bursting with pride.

Pride for a country united - for a much needed breath of life to our country's patriotism.

Pride for somber remembrances and unthinkable forgiveness rising from the ashes of seemingly insurmountable grief and loss.

Pride for stories of hope and perseverance after such tragedy.

And pride for my 5-year-old firefighter who showed me today that you don't have to be big...to make a BIG difference.

The Brockport Fire Department held their 10th annual Vigil & Honor Guard at their 9/11 Firefighter's Memorial Monument. I am sorry to say I've never made it to any part of this 12-hour long vigil with ceremonies at Noon ad 7 PM. This year I promised Nathaniel we'd go to honor his fallen "brothers in arms".

At 5, I felt he was ready for a briefing on what 9/11 means to us. I gave him a brief history of the events that transpired that day, punctuated by the key points that A LOT of people died that day, and 343 firefighters lost their lives trying to save people.

At the vigil, firefighters from across the county come to stand guard at the Memorial Monument for 10 minute "shifts". Nate decided he wanted to stand guard with Daddy. So he did.

There was a moving display of support by more than 600 motorcyclists who paraded through town.

Followed by a beautiful ceremony that was well-attended by the community.

It was then that duty kicked in for Nate and he decided he wanted to stand honor guard another shift.

And stand he did. He stood so still and so proud, I could not have BEEN more proud of him. For a little guy who barely sits still, not talking, goofing off, or moving for 10 whole minutes is a giant feat!

A veteran came up to me while he stood guard and held up a crippled arm he received fighting for our freedoms. He then told me seeing Nate stand up there with the other honor guards that day made it all worth it.

The respect he displayed and the maturity he demonstrated will forever be etched in my mind and on my heart. I literally had tears in my eyes as I watched him stand there today.

Following his "shift", John Merklinger, Director of the 9-1-1 Center where Daddy works (who also stood guard with Nate), pulled him aside and presented him with his very own 9-1-1 Challenge coin saying that it was the only thing he needed to be prepared for the future that awaited him.

The Brockport Firefighter Nathaniel stood guard with also presented him with an official commemorative 9-11 coin, shook his hand, and thanked him. To say these are now his most prized possessions is an understatement of grand proportions.

I can go on and on about how proud I am of my Bug. There simply are no words.

A Letter to Nathaniel…as you start Kindergarten.

2011-09-07T09:59:00.002-04:00

My Dearest Nate,

Today you will officially start your school “career” in Mrs. C’s Kindergarten class at KCS.

I will wake you up at 7 AM, feed you breakfast, make you brush your teeth, let you pick out your favorite outfit from your new school clothes pile, and get you out the door to wait for your school bus. As the bus rolls into view, you will no doubt jump and shout with glee. I will cry a little inside. Not because you are leaving, or even because you are growing up too fast (though you are!). I am crying tears of pride for the handsome boy you are growing up to be.

You are head strong and independent, opinionated and strong-willed. You don’t take disappointment easily and often live in your own creative world. Yet you make friends effortlessly, have a tremendous heart of gold, an imagination that entertains for hours, and a sense of humor that warms my soul and makes me laugh daily.

I know you will do well in Kindergarten. You have been blazing a path for yourself from the very beginning. I am so proud of you and amazed every day by how much you have learned already! Every day you teach me something new and I love learning and growing each day through you.

I only hope you know that I am here for you every step of the way. If your classmates are mean (as kids so easily can be) or someone on the bus hurts your feelings, I want you to talk to me. If reading or writing challenges you, I will be there to help you figure it out. If you have exciting stories of grand adventure to share from your days at school, I will listen to every word and thrill with you in every turn. And if, at the end of a long day of running, laughing, and learning with friends, you simply want to be, I will gladly snuggle up next to you (and Green Blankie) and quietly watch Good Luck Charlie.

Go get ‘em, Bug.

Big Bug Hugs and teeny tiny kisses,

I love you,

Mom

Dream Big Day

2011-08-19T15:53:00.001-04:00

OK, so I've decided, through much banter, conversation and dialogue with friends and family that if I am ever going to make my dreams come true, I need to take some serious ACTION.

I know, sheer brilliance, right?

However, knowing my penchant for procrastination, my remarkable ability for over-scheduling myself, and my less than stellar self motivation skills, it has become painfully obvious that if I want to find the time to make this happen, I need to MAKE TIME. I actually have to carve out a piece of my week (every week!) to focus purely on taking baby steps to get my goals off the ground. Granted I have many goals (freelance writing, photography, Etsy) but I have to start somewhere! So, I am marking off Mondays in my calender to avoid overbooking (which I'm notorious for) and will use this time, or Dream Big Day (DBD) as I shall call it, to actually focus (after work, of course and depending on what the boys' cooperation will allow, that is) on getting my photos published, my writing noticed, my Etsy store stocked, etc. I have a general plan for steps I want to take, but some research will be required. I will now have DBD set aside to accomplish that, too :)

Wish me luck! Maybe you'll see my name in print or a photo I took hanging on your wall someday!!

Monkey Power!

2011-08-16T10:59:00.000-04:00

Our precious Brie brought the boys rings over the weekend that fit each of their personalities to a "T". Nate got a fire dog (Dalmatian) and Alex was given a monkey. Because, well, he IS a monkey.

Today I got to wear Alex's monkey ring to a doctor's appointment (and ultimately to work) because it matched my outfit. I don't know what it is about this silly ring but it's seemingly given me "monkey power" today. Everywhere I have gone people have lightened up simply upon seeing it, commented on its cute factor, and in response I've been in such a good mood wearing it that its quirkiness is downright infectious.

It's like having a piece of my Monkey with me all day and I can't help but look down at my hand (even as I type this) and smile. So, today, I wish you all your own version(s) of "Monkey Power"!

Dream Come True...

2011-08-15T22:12:00.000-04:00

Growing up I had the annual opportunity of trekking out into the back 58 (acres) of my parents' homestead and picking buckets full of fresh, delicious, blackberries and black raspberries throughout the Summer.

I loved dressing up in long sleeves and jeans in 80 degree weather, strapping a belt on my waist to string an old ice cream bucket to and coming out of the woods covered in scratches, with purple fingers, and smacking my lips from all the berries that "accidently fell in my mouth" while I was picking.

It was always my hope to have my very own picking patch someday. At our last house in the City, I talked about planting some raspberry bushes along our back fence. However, in nearly 6 years I simply never got around to it.

Now that I've lived in our new house (which sits on 5 acres) for a whole year now, I'm learning some of the perks of having land out in the middle of farm country. For the first time I have my very own berry patch in my back yard.

I was so excited to be able to go out back tonight (with my little helper) to pick blackberries. Many of them were dried up and/or too small so I took a lesson from my Mom and picked and scattered them to increase our crop in the years to come.

Of course between the "helpful" eating and the "oops!" spills from a clumsy 2-year-old, we had less than a dozen berries left by the time we made it back into the house, but it was so worth it. Next year we'll have an even larger crop and I'll continue to grow it until I, too, have a bumper crop and can pick buckets full just like the good old days on the Homestead.

10 on 10 : August 2011

2011-08-11T11:36:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday...Boys will be boys

2011-08-03T07:45:00.003-04:00

Wordless Wednesday - I sure do LOVE this boy!!!!!

2011-07-20T07:51:00.001-04:00

10 on 10 : July 2011

2011-07-10T22:32:00.000-04:00

It's been forever since I've (remembered to) participate in 10 on 10. For those of you who have forgotten, 10 on 10 is where I take ten photos (one/hour or thereabouts) for ten hours on the 10th of the month. It's a fun way to get creative, think a little differently about your day, and highlight some of the ordinary moments that make life so extraordinary.

So here is my 10 on 10 (with some wordy descriptors since they won't make sense otherwise and I'd like to look back on these as a journal of sorts) :)

This has been our life for 4 days now. Alex came down with a fever on Thursday morning (4AM). By Friday he landed us at the pediatricians' office for a negative strep test and a preliminary (guess?) diagnosis of Coxsackie Disease. We were slated to hit the 1000 Islands for a weekend of fun in the sun but this curve in the road kept us home for this beautiful weekend. Alex has (unwillingly, I'm sure) given us a run for our money with this fever from H-E-L-L (including a couple scares with 105 degree temps that wound us up in the ER on Friday night and back on the phone with the on-call physician on Saturday afternoon). Finally today we found a rhythm of medications/dosages/timing that worked well to keep his fever spikes at bay. He was maintaining a temperature near 100-101 which was impressive considering we were in a non-air-conditioned house with no breeze and little relief from the heat and humidity that spiked outdoors.

So, we packed a quick lunch and decided to head to the cooler temps of Lake Ontario for some relaxation and cooling off.

Nate was convinced that the water was "10 feet deep" and he'd surely drown, but we finally convinced him that if Mommy, at 4'10" could reach the bottom, that it was NOT 10 feet deep and he would be fine.

Someone was feeling better himself once we stripped down and cooled off in the fresh Lake air.

I got to toodle around in my new kayak (that I got for my birthday a few weeks ago) and even got to give Nate a chance to try it out.

The boys had fun torturing Daddy while he was trying to relax. Notice I didn't dissuade them from their scheme. HA!

The best part about today was getting to play around with a new Coleman Underwater camera I bought specifically for my kayak adventures. It was cool to be able to dunk under the water to snap photos...this will bring a whole new dimension to my photo taking obsessions!

Alex quickly got tired and wanted to go home so he floated around with Daddy for a little bit being silly and relaxing while Nate got his last few moments of swimming in.

Nate floating around.

All in all today was a beautiful day! I'm so thankful that we were able to get out for a bit as a family and enjoy some of Dave's week of vacation. I'm especially grateful that Alex's fever has come down (he's now sticking closer to 99 degrees which is as close to "broke" as we can hope for at this point!). I hope the next few days bring rest and better health for our family!

The View from Here...Up North

2011-07-05T12:16:00.000-04:00

We're home now, but this was my view yesterday in celebration of Independence Day. I love it and had to share...more photos from our fabulous weekend up North to come!!

Wordless Wednesday...Summer Vengence

2011-06-29T09:15:00.002-04:00

Another First - Tee Ball!

2011-06-15T22:35:00.000-04:00

Nate started tee ball a couple weeks ago (starting with two weeks of "practice" - a.k.a. teaching a bunch of 4 & 5-year-olds what a baseball is and what they're supposed to do with it).

Yesterday, however, was their first official "game". I say that in quotes only because they don't actually keep score, they play the same team for every game (alternating "home" teams) and there was very little organization or competition to be seen here.

Regardless, they had their first game and it was nothing if not entertaining.

Imagine 26 four and five-year-olds out on the field, or in a batting line-up. The little one whose turn it is gets up to bat. He/she swings, misses, swings, misses, swings, finally makes contact enough to knock the ball off the tee and then stands there. Everyone starts yelling "go! go! Run to first base!" The little boy/girl starts running but forgets to drop the bat so they run back, drop the bat and start running again. Only this time they have forgotten where they're going so they run down the middle of the field towards 2nd. All the while parents, coaches, and spectators are simultaneously yelling directions, explanations, encouragements. If not to the batter, then to the little boy or girl who won the ball in the outfield (since invariably no less than 5 children ran for it and all tried to jump on the ball at once) and is now standing there holding it, not knowing quite what to do with it until the chants to "throw it!" get through and they launch it anywhere they can (usually from the mitted hand).

It's great to watch these little ones with ants in their pants as they dance, wiggle, twirl, sway, and goof off in the outfield. My boy is usually the one out there with the running motor...the mouth that will not stop. He's hooting, hollering, making siren noises, making horrible screeching sounds. All while telling silly knock knock jokes, pretending his baseball glove is eating his face, and/or touching his "pee-nus" because his underwear is itching him.

I am so thankful for this experience for Nathaniel, though...he's not always what I'd consider athletic, or even all that coordinated. (He could be if he spent more time focusing on that instead of being a clown but he'd rather get the attention by being silly right now). But the people are great and the exercise is good. He's learning something, making friends, and learning good sportsmanship and teamwork. Go, Mini Yankees!

Wordless Wednesday...Summer Cool Down

2011-06-15T09:05:00.000-04:00

Dirt Magnets

2011-06-12T21:47:00.000-04:00

My boys (in case you haven't noticed) are dirt magnets. Of course it doesn't hurt that we live on 5 acres of nothing but dirt. Or that I rather enjoy sitting back and watching them be kids.

But if given the slightest opportunity, my boys will revel in being dirty.

Today was no different.

We have a dirt pile behind our house that the boys love to scale, conquer, and then slide/roll/fall down.

Repeatedly.

Thank God for a (strong!) new washing machine and OxyClean! You should see the dirt ring these two leave on my bathtub nearly every night! Oh, but the fun they have and the joy on their faces is immeasurable!

I am the Turtle

2011-06-12T21:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm NOT a turtle, but I found this quote and I suddenly feel I can relate to the turtle.

“The turtle makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.”

Last week we were faced with the choice of whether or not to take in an adorable painted turtle that needed a home. My husband told me if I could figure out how to care for it, we could keep it. So I did some research, asked my friends for their advice, opinions, and experience, and sat the boys down for a chat on responsibility. If were going to take on this "challenge", I wanted to make sure they (Nate specifically) understood what was expected of them. This turtle would come with rules.

Rule #1 of course was proper care and sanitary procedures to avoid the nasty illnesses turtles and other reptiles can carry and share. There would be minimal touching and diligent hand washing would be practiced.

Rule #2 was that they needed to help care for him (her?).

Rule #3 was that this turtle needed a name!

So over dinner, we discussed these rules, which were readily agreed to, and we (Nate) named him Pluto.

Welcome, Pluto!

For the first few days we had a hodge podge set up that consisted of a bin and some stones from the driveway

...but as of today we have an official turtle home set up for Pluto.

Size DOES Matter

2011-06-08T23:50:00.000-04:00

At the "ripe old age" of (nearly) 35 I'm beginning to realize something.

Size really DOES matter.

Unfortunately, there isn't anything I can do about my size. At my age, I'm pretty sure I missed that "growth spurt" boat (about 20 years ago!!).

At 4' 10", however, my size is starting to get to me.

It wasn't bad when I was little. I was generally the "cute" one in school. People would take me under their wing, protect me, give me adorable little pet names. Of course it had its moments. The "short" jokes quickly got a little old.

How's the weather down there?

Sorry, didn't see you way down there!

However, with a few well-timed, quippy comebacks, I maneuvered my way through adolescence with my head held high (as high as I could hold it at 4'10", that is!).

But lately, my size (or rather my SHORTNESS) has taken an ugly turn.

As if I needed one more thing to shake my confidence and make me question my adequacy...my height has raised a real issue for me.

The boys and I were on the playground the other night when some "big" girls (I mean big as in bigger than my boys at 2 & 5...so maybe 7-9?) started roughing up Alex. It was the equivalent of mean girl bullying to a cute little boy they wanted to manhandle. Seemingly innocent, but unnecessary and inappropriate at the same time. This one girl in particular was trying to direct Alex, pick him up, drag him up the stairs, down the slide, through the tunnels. And he was having nothing to do with it. He just wanted to run free and she was trying to treat him like her personal rag doll. I was none too happy.

At first I intervened by making my presence known. When I was a kid, knowing an adult was watching me was enough to steer me clear of naughtiness. I quickly realized, however, that my watchful glare was bearing no effect. So I tried encouraging Alex to speak up for himself...telling him to say "Put me down" or "No" or "I don't want to go down the slide"...that wasn't working either as she paid little heed to what her little "dolly" was saying and continued to manhandle him. That's when I had to get all Mama Bear on her. I mean, I didn't say anything mean or yell, I simply took my son away from her and told her to go play elsewhere.

But then it occurred to me. I've been overlooked and underestimated by ADULTS my whole life. But here I was as an adult, not being taken seriously by a CHILD. This will not do. My presence was not in the least bit intimidating to her. And I'm not trying to say I want to scare children or torment them in any way. I just want to be seen. That night on the playground, I was in a position of having to protect my baby and I was not being seen as a warning, a threat, or even a deterrent.

As a teenage babysitter (even today) I am used to the kids I'm "charged" with saying "I'm bigger than you" and taking pride in the inch(es) they have on me. This realization isn't new. It is, however, newly disheartening.

I'm not delusional enough to assume this has EVERYTHING to do with my height, of course. I know if I were a stronger person, more confident, less wishy-washy, that I would somehow command the respect my taller counterparts have. 80% of my dilemma is probably more realistically rooted in personality than in physical traits. But it's not easy to see that right now from where I stand. Now the question is, where do I go with this? I suppose there's nowhere to go, but UP. So I shall take this tidbit, contemplate it, learn from it, and thusly GROW.

Wordless Wednesday...Youthful Innocence

2011-06-08T22:59:00.000-04:00

Alex

Stanton Family Reunion

July 2010

Fabulous Chair

2011-06-05T13:35:00.000-04:00

Did you figure out my ridiculously easy quiz from earlier today?

Of course it's a chair.

I didn't expect it was a hard question.

It's a seat-less, dilapidated, lead-paint peeling, eye-sore of a chair.

Isn't it FABULOUS?!?!

I've driven by this chair at a local barn sale for weeks...my brain has been a buzz with excitement for this silly chair, but alas, the barn sale is never open when I drive past so I stare, and drool, and dream.

Yesterday my husband mentioned his plan to hit this very barn sale so I screamed out my desire to have this chair!

I soon got a text message from him - a photo of my chair with the word "Really?".

Um, yes really. Why would I NOT want this fabulous chair? And for only $2?!?! Absolutely!

He obviously didn't share my vision. He couldn't possible know what it was I saw when I looked at this chair. The intricate design, the bright, weathered color...the love it had endured.

I saw beyond it's desperate need of a paint job, its missing seat, and worn exterior. I saw a fabulous photo prop. This is my first photo prop and I can't tell you how excited I am to covet this chair.

So, I immediately dragged Nate out across our squishy yard to the overgrown field in back and plopped him amongst the weeds by my new treasure.

Voila!

I give you Fabulous Chair + Handsome (fake smile) Boy.

I once resisted the urge to buy a beautiful antique typewriter simply because I envisioned taking gorgeous photographs of pudgy babies tapping its keys. I wanted to capture all its gorgeous intricate details. I should have just bought it.

*sigh*

Oh well...I sure can't wait to use this chair more.

Unfortunately, however, I fear my addiction to "photo props" has officially begun.

Can you guess...

2011-06-05T09:44:00.000-04:00

what this is?

Wordless Wednesday...The Fly

2011-05-11T11:11:00.002-04:00

In a SNAP!

2011-05-09T10:40:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I heard Avery outside barking incessantly. Now, this is not unheard of for her, seeing as she barks at people going by, neighbors taking out their trash, dogs barking in the distance, and sometimes mysterious nothings that somehow threaten her sense of security.

So when I went to see what had her hackles up this time, I was surprised to see a GIANT turtle scurrying across our yard from the road. Now, mind you, the road is a bit away from our front porch and I could make this thing out perfectly and it was BIG. So, of course, as any good mother would do, I grabbed my camera and my 5-year-old to go investigate.

Up close this thing was even bigger than it seemed far away...and UGLY.

Now, before you think I'm crazy, I've grown up here and am quite familiar with the evil snapping turtles that are indigenous to these parts. So I knew enough not to get too close. Snapping turtles are mean and FAST. I was grateful to have a ditch between him and us. But I had to use this as a learning lesson for Nathaniel so he knows not to just walk up to one and hold it like he has with other turtles in the past.

Thankfully my husband heard Nate excitedly screaming "a TURTLE?" before heading outside to join me so he was on our heels.

He quickly assessed the situation and since this beast was heading into the water Alex quite frequently plays in, we decided it was not best that he (she?) stay. So my husband demonstrated to Nate this turtle's powerful (and FAST!) snapping reaction, lectured him about their dangers, and then collected him up (humanely). Then he and Nate took him (her?) away to a pond much farther away from our front yard.

Dave said this thing probably weighed 20 lbs and had to be about 12-18 inches long..it was huge. I was glad to see it up close and learn about it...and even more glad to see it go. Hopefully he (she?) will not be visiting again anytime soon. At least if he (she?) does, Nathaniel has learned to steer clear and to make sure Alex does the same. Always an adventure around here.

You can call me Mommy...

2011-05-08T22:40:00.000-04:00

I am a wife.

A co-worker.

Daughter.

Sister.

Friend.

I am an Aunt.

A niece.

Cousin.

Employee.

Confidant.

I am a tax-payer.

A Republican.

Voter.

Consumer.

Philanthropist.

I am a Step-Mom

A Daughter-in-Law

Sister-in-law

Ex-wife.

Former classmate.

But the one title I love the most is Mom.

Granted I don't always feel like I'm doing a great job in that title, but man does it have its benefits. Far beyond a 401(k) and health insurance, motherhood has given me unconditional love, immeasurable joy, laughter, free entertainment, fun, wonderment, endless hugs and kisses, and a lifetime supply of ego boosts and mind stimulating challenges.

The two little boys who call me Mom are the most precious gifts in the world to me. They are my life and I love every moment spent with them. Even the most challenging times have a flip side - an "I sowee, Mommy" or a silly expression just to crack a smile. So, today, amidst breakfast made for me by 4 little hands (and two big hands), homemade gifts, cards, and plants, coffee in the sun on the porch, and a shower of hugs and kisses, I am extra specially grateful for those precious boys who call me Mommy. For without them I wouldn't be able to have this job that requires SO MUCH work and has SO MANY rich rewards for the time and energy spent. Thank you, Nate & Alex for letting me learn, grow, (sometimes) experiment, laugh, and love with you.

April Showers...

2011-04-28T00:01:00.000-04:00

...bring MUDDY boys. As is typical for my two, once the weather warms up and before the sun dries up the Spring puddles, my boys love, love, love to get wet and dirty. In previous years we'd have to head to the Homestead to splash in Mom & Dad (Grandma & Grandpa's) puddles but this year we have our very own! It was nice and warm today so I let the boys get downright filthy in the puddles (lakes!) we have forming in our front yard. It's so much fun to watch my boys be boys. They love to jump, splash, throw wet leaves, get mud between their toes, you name it. It might take a special pre-treating soak in OxyClean and/or a couple stained clothes that will forever reside in the "play clothes" pile but that is ok by me. Look at the sheer joy on their faces!! Totally worth it!

Something

2011-04-25T22:28:00.000-04:00

I know I should put something up here on this blog, but to be honest...I've got nothing. Don't get me wrong, there is a LOT going on up here (points to her head), but nothing that's making it out of there alive. In fact, there's so much going on up there that if it DID come out, it would be some convoluted story about Easter in Portland with goats and ice cream. Exactly. Too much going on for any of it to come out making any sense. So, I will give you this: a deeply regretful apology for being so lame, and photos of (two of) the most handsome boys you'll ever lay eyes on.

You're welcome. "Talk" to you again soon!

A Very Merry Half-birthday

2011-04-17T00:02:00.001-04:00

I wanted to post this a few weeks ago on Alex's actual "half-birthday" but was on a train with no internet access at the time. Since then it's just been crazy and hectic so I haven't followed through until now. Regardless of its late posting, it's still uber important to capture these fleeting and totally lovable traits about my Digger Fuzz Bucket right now. This picture in time of my precious (conniving, troublesome, adorable, precious, lovable) 2 1/2 year old is brought to you by, well, ME!

Alex - 2 years, 6 months
(barely) weighs 25 lbs.

Alex (loosely) wears size 18M clothes, size 7 shoes, and may never get out of size 3 diapers.
He's familiar with the concept of potty training but inconsistent with its delivery.

Alex talks up a storm and can say anything he wants in long, complex sentences rivaling those of a literary writer, but he still has some cute versions of certain words like:
"reego" (yogurt)
"oh-pahs" (apples)
"boff" (garbage)
likes to "pay fains" (play trains)
will ask "is dis/dat?"
"watch dis"
is every bit as animated and creative as his brother
says "far F*ck" for firetruck
"uh, SIR!" (sure!)
"no way!"
he says chicken "POOP" instead of "coup"
Loves berries of all kinds and pretty much calls them all "Boo-bees" - he's starting to make a distinction though with "Back-bees" and "Stah-bees" :)

Alex is addicted (beyond hope!) to his "fway" (pacifier) and must have "ket" (blanket) when he's bored, needing comfort, tired, sleeping, or otherwise just plain sitting still. He has two that are (more or less) the same and when he demands both he'll ask "where nah won (another one) ket go?" He has the most adorable habit of meticulously folding his blanket up along the edge and then picking at it with his free hand. LOVE IT!

I love how he simultaneously smells of dirt, baby powder, and syrup...almost always.

He loves to paint and color, mostly himself, but sometimes on paper. He could spend hours ~~eating~~ playing with play-doh. And loves stickers.

Every night before bedtime he brushes his teeth and then says "pick one?" which means he wants to pick a band aid from the arsenal of character band aids I've collected over the years. It usually winds up on the floor or on his bedroom wall to be removed later, but at first it starts out on the "boo boo" of the day...sometimes real, sometimes fictional but always healed miraculously by his bedtime band aid.

He's become "Velcro Boy" lately and needs to be physically attached to me at all times. Especially come bedtime. I love the snuggle time but hate feeling manipulated at times. I keep reminding myself that this, too, is fleeting, and someday (soon!) he'll be pushing me away and telling me to Go! like his brother used to. I will enjoy every hug, kiss, carry, and snuggle he requests until that time!

Alex loves to dance and will do so whenever the mood strikes. Whether it be a commercial on TV, a song on the radio in the grocery store, or entertaining friends with a song and dance over dinner. His favorite line to catch a laugh is "Should be dancin', yeah!" and he'll sing it and wave his arms up and down just to get his beloved Brie to giggle. It works like magic. Every time.

Besides dancing, eating, painting/coloring, making a mess, splashing in water, playing in mud, and snuggling with Mommy, I'd say Alex's #1 passion is torturing his big brother. Oh how he torment poor Nate so. He'll jump on him, climb on him, sit on him, stand between him and whatever he's doing, knock over a creation, destroy a fire scene, or just haul off and smack him for no good reason at any given time. He's a little instigator and one heck of a trouble maker!

I could go on and on but I'll leave something for his official 3 year post in September!! All I know is this boy enriches my life in more ways than you can imagine. He's my baby, my shadow, my buddy, and my SUNSHINE!

I learned...

2011-04-11T10:07:00.000-04:00

While traveling some 2,200 miles on a train with my boys and two of our favorite people, I learned quite a bit.

First and foremost I learned that I am not crazy, as many thought when I told them of our plans. I knew it would be a challenge with a 2 and (barely) 5-year-old but I vowed to go into it with an open mind and an adventurous soul and was blessed with immeasurable rewards in return. I want to thank Tiffany and Brielle for taking on this journey with us because not only did it make the trip that much more fun and memorable, but it gave me the courage and support I needed to forge ahead when so many thought I was insane! Especially since when Tiff signed on for this trip she originally thought I was suggesting a trip to Portland, MAINE. HA!

I learned that people FROM Oregon, do NOT pronounce it Or-eh-gone as I had, but rather, Or-uh-gin with a soft g sound).

I learned that the people here are all amazing! Sweet. Helpful. Friendly. Polite. Even, dare I say, genuine? Great group of people!

I learned that a city really can be clean and cultured and safe and pleasant all at the same time!! Portland must have some amazing systems in place because I have never seen a cleaner City. The buildings were clean, the streets were clean (and liter free!), and everywhere you went they offered "green" options (hold the bag, skip the coffee liner, reduce, recycle, reuse!). They even had these most fabulous solar powered garbage compost bins. Throw your garbage in and solar energy compacts it somehow. Pretty cool. It must be a healthy city, too...everywhere you went there were bike racks (even little kid ones outside their daycares/schools) and there was a big push for biking, for example, bike trails and bike lanes). I waited at a stop light in a line of cars that was just as long as the line of bikers on their daily commute. So cool!

I learned that train travel is so much better than plane travel. Even with the delays and extra time it takes, it sure beats the anxiety and stuffiness of flying. I’d take the adventure over the convenience any day!! You have to go into it with a flexible attitude but that is just up my alley! We were treated like royalty and most of the staff were wonderful and sweet!

I learned that traveling anywhere with my two small children is NOT crazy, it’s FUN. They are troopers. They adjust so easily to any circumstance or situation, they’re flexible, they go with the flow and they love the adventure as much as I do. Sure they had their moments when listening, behaving, and taking naps were not their strongest skills, but considering the excitement, the chaos, the schedule, and the time changes, I think they were amazing!!

I learned that I really do have the best family! They are worth traveling across the WORLD for, much less across the country! I have been blessed with a family I am proud to call mine. I wish Marc & Lindsay the best of everything in their new life together and am so glad I was able to make it to their wedding. What a great time! Welcome to the family, Lindsay!!

I learned that this country of ours is gorgeous. Just as I had made an assumption that certain states were boring (North Dakota was flat, Montana was snowy and blowy), our return trip would show me the beautiful trees "sugared" in freshly fallen snow in North Dakota. Or I'd get to see Montana on a bright, sunny day with the bluest sky you've ever seen! And Washington...oh, Washington. What a beautiful state! The mountains and the lakes...and how the later reflects the former! It was a sight to behold! I could spend days just soaking in the sights of Washington! Oregon was gorgeous itself - everything covered in the most glorious green you've ever seen. Coming from the drab brown and stark white of winter in New York, this was magnificent!

Most importantly, I learned that if you don't DO what you dream, then you're just hollowly TALKING about your goals. And talking about it doesn't get you any closer to actually living your dreams. I am so glad to have made this trip and look forward to many more adventures to check off my "bucket list"!

More Lessons to Learn...

2011-04-10T22:21:00.000-04:00

A visit to the Homestead is always a learning lesson for the boys. I love visiting my parents because there is so much rich tradition to soak in. I hadn't planned to stop over to visit today but my sister and niece were visiting so I dropped in and inadvertently interfered in wood cutting day. I wasn't prepared to help much much I kept the kids out of the way and out of the creek while managing to get some cute photos of them playing in the woods.

The entire walk back to the creek was one giant learning lesson with Grandma as our tour guide.

First, she stopped to show the boys where a raccoon was perched high in a tree, sleeping its "night" away.

As we walked through the park and down the path, she made sure to point out every deer track and even found the tunnel made by a mole in the dirt. She doesn't just make sure the boys see them, she tells stories, uses details to teach them about the animal that made the track or why they travel/eat/hunt/sleep the way they do. It's a learning lesson for ME and love watching my boys soak it all up!

When we got to the creek, we learned about water currents, tadpoles, water spiders, gravity, and more. It's remarkable what there is to learn simply by being outside.

We found some "eatin' grass" (chives) the boys got to sample.

And then stopped again to inspect the tunnel made by the mole. Fascinating stuff!

At work I write grants for the youth in our service and have recently learned of a very real phenomenon called Nature Deficit Disorder. Richard Louv wrote a book entitled Last Child in the Woods about this problem and spotlights a "trend that children are spending less time outdoors, resulting in a wide range of behavioral problems." (Wikipedia) There are real world lessons to be learned by getting outside and taking in what nature has to offer. Everything from Math to Science can be learned simply by getting out and surrounding yourself with the sights, sounds, smells, and happenings in nature. It amazes me the differences in children who have experiences like my children are afforded and urban kids who don't get outside to learn such lessons. It makes me even more grateful for my upbringing, my amazing family, and the legacy that I get the share with my children.

The story of how our cross country journey came to be...

2011-04-10T08:01:00.003-04:00

Oh, where do I start? What an amazing trip to Oregon! Many friends/relatives following my trip on Facebook asked for details on how this trip came about and how it was planned. So I thought I'd tell the "story" of how the trip came to be...

When I first got word that my cousin, Marc, was getting married in March in OREGON, I thought there was NO way I'd be able to make it across the country for the second time in less than a year. I had just flown to Arizona for my cousin, Todd's, wedding in April 2010 and was quite sure that finances and time off would preclude me making another trip of that caliber. Then I got the official (fabulously funky) invite in the mail and a sweet, handwritten note from the bride that said she understood it was a haul but that she'd really love it if I could make it because I had made her feel especially welcome when she met our family the previous year. How can I say no to that?!? It moved me beyond words and I knew I had to be there to see my cousin make this genuinely fantastic woman his wife!

So I started thinking about how I would pull it off. My husband had zero interest in going to Oregon. So I figured I'd be going it alone. I definitely couldn't finagle another trip (like Arizona) without the kids so whatever my plan, it had to involve them. I knew flying would be expensive (not to mention STRESSFUL) so I googled some info on distance and travel times and thought driving might be an option. Of course that would be an adventure and when I think ADVENTURE, I think of my person, Tiff....so I texted her and asked if she'd be up for a 40 hour road trip to Portland, OR. She immediately "signed on". Of course she thought I meant Portland, MAINE, so she couldn't understand why it would take 40 hours but once we got THAT straightened out, she remained committed to my crazy plan and the excitement and planning began!

After doing some research and running some numbers, Tiff suggested the train option and I was intrigued. We came to the conclusion that it would cost about the same to take the train as it would to fly all 5 of us there, but in contrast, what an experience the train would be! I had reservations about flying with my children anyway and really didn't want Nate to get on a plane, arrive across the country 8 hours later and never fully comprehend how very far away from home we had traveled. So, we opted to pay for the adventure of an experience we could learn from and remember forever over the convenience of getting to our destination in 8 hours or less. As they say, the fun is not in the destination, but in the journey!!

Enter skepticism and overall negativity and you hear a whole lot of people telling you you're crazy for embarking on such a trip. Friends of mine thought 63.5 hours on a train with two small children sounded horrible. My husband thought I was insane for even wanting to do this much less for doing it via train. Someone even told me the whole plan sounded like three days of hell!

Needless to say it was none of the above. I am so thankful to have taken this trip and forever grateful to Tiffany and Brie for coming along! Not only would I never have had the courage to go it alone, but it quite simply wouldn't have been the same without them there! They are an extension of us and it just feels natural to experience these things with our family there! I wonder where our next journey will lead us....?

Portland is...

2011-04-09T23:19:00.000-04:00

Portland is...

Clean

(GORGEOUSLY) Green

(and environmentally GREEN)!!

Intellectually Stimulating

Friendly

Beautiful

Cultured and Artsy

Fun and Funky

I want to go back and spend another week just perusing books at Powell's or checking out local hot spots like Voodoo Doughnut! What a fabulous place! Everything was within walking distance or trolley! Everyone was friendly, helpful, polite, patient, and kind.

There seemed to be a lot of homeless vagabond types roaming about but even they seemed happy and content with their lot. Unlike the homeless here who I believe are generally down trodden, out of work, disabled, and/or mentally ill...the homeless people we saw (everywhere!) generally seemed to be young, nomadic hippie types who relished this lifestyle. I could, of course, be wrong...but even their homeless population seemed to fit right in and be accepted by the culture there. Very bizarre.

Portland is a very healthy and green place. People ride bikes in such great quantity that they have bike lanes on every road, bike racks outside building (even a kid-sized one outside the Montessori School) and at one red light we sat at there were as many bicyclists waiting for the light as there were cars in our lane. It was amazing to me. I can't wait to go back to explore some more!

Simple Woman's Daybook...April 5, 2011

2011-04-05T15:10:00.000-04:00

FOR TODAY...April 5, 2011

Outside my window...it’s a typical gray April day. Cold, rainy, ick. We had a nice warm (yet breezy) day yesterday so it was a sprig of hope that Spring is coming…

I am thinking...more wondering, actually, when enough is enough. After (another) failed attempt at reaching out to a friend of mine who for some reason has totally written me off, I’m beginning to think it’s time to just move on. While I have NO idea what went wrong or where I zigged so badly while she zagged, it’s just gotten too hard to invest so much emotion and energy into something that obviously is one sided. It makes me sad, but dwelling on it hurts too much, so perhaps it’s time to just carry on - time to stop stressing and wondering and worrying. Perhaps it’s simply time to stop trying.

I am thankful for...the friends I do have. The ones I know are true and real and lifelong. I’ve been super blessed in that department and I honestly don’t know what I would do without them to (constantly) lift me up and make me a better person.

From the kitchen...there is very little until we do some grocery shopping. Since returning from Oregon, we have not done any grocery shopping so our cupboards are pretty bare. I hope to stock up on healthy options to assist with my desire (NEED!) to lose some weight!

I am wearing...my iPod to block out distractions and give me some peace.

I am remembering...the details of my FABULOUS trip to Oregon last week. I am trying to write them all down so I can put photos to them and get some of my thoughts/memories on my blog before I lose it all!

I am going...to finish and post the (many) drafts I have started and don’t want to forget…I have a (1/2 birthday) memory post started for Alex, too.   He has so many little quirks at his age that are fleeting too quickly and I want to capture.

I am hoping...to get my house back into shape this weekend. There is so much to do to catch up from while we were away…laundry, cleaning, organizing, etc.

I am hearing...a random mix of tunes from my iPod (Foreigner, Eric Church, various show Soundtracks, New Kids, Nic Cowan, etc.)

Pondering these words...“Save your strength for things that you can change, forgive the ones you can’t…you gotta let it go.” - Zac Brown Band, Let it Go

Around the house...lots to do. We just got 6 chicks that need care (and protection from little hands!). Dave is in the process of building them a chicken coop because they get more and more ambitious every day and are trying very hard to escape their current digs.

On my mind...changes. There seem to be a lot of them lately - Changes in season - Changes in schedules/routine - Changes at work that could greatly impact my current comfort level.

Noticing that...we live in a beautiful country. I loved traveling to see new places and new things. There were so many gorgeous sights to behold. I also noticed that a lot of the things that I thought were so spectacular on our trip out West are right here in my own backyard. I just take them for granted here. I’m trying to take a fresh look at our surroundings to see things the way a tourist would. I’m looking at things and asking myself, “would I want to take a picture of that if I didn’t see it everyday?” – It’s fun to see my every day in a new light.

One of my favorite things...chocolate and peanut butter. I’m obsessed, actually. If they had rehab for this sort of thing I would have to check myself in. No wonder I can’t commit to a weight loss plan…this stuff is dangerous!!

A few plans for the rest of the week: Nate has his last swimming lesson this weekend and I’m taking him to see Lion King at the theater. So exciting!

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

I brought the boys to and took photos at a fire department training over the weekend and this was my favorite shot of Dave working the hose. They were "drafting" (pulling water from a farmer's pond and transferring it back and forth between the trucks to "fight the fire") - It was cool to witness and (of course!) the boys LOVED it!

GREEN with Envy

2011-03-27T04:15:00.001-04:00

Oregon has to be the greenest state I've ever seen. Apparently because of the moist climate, everything here is so lush...Moss and vegetation grow plentifully everywhere. The roads are green, the trees are green (NOT just the leaves like back home - the WHOLE tree!), even walls, mailboxes, roofs, and signage is green. There is green as far as the eye can see. It's GORGEOUS!

Since green is my favorite color, I particularly love this state.

Tiffany and I traveled through Washington Park today and I was in awe with the sights to behold. Everything was so beautiful. And when the sun came out, the green almost glowed. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to drive around and snap some photos of the beautiful scenery. It fed my soul.

On The Road Again

2011-03-21T22:09:00.000-04:00

So, today concludes Birthday Week 2011 for my Bug. We had a great day together and I was so glad to be home from work today to spend his birthday with him! We got him all registered for Kindergarten next year (!) and put together countless Lego fire trucks, Play Mobil playsets, and fire house kits (some assembly required!!!).

I had big plans to recount Nathaniel's birth (5 years ago!!) or post pictures of his FDNY birthday party from yesterday but instead, I'm distracted with my next big adventure. Tomorrow the boys and I leave on a 63.5 hour cross-country train trip to Oregon for my cousin's wedding. We're traveling with my person, Tiff, and her daughter and I'm so excited! I, of course, hadn't packed a thing until a couple hours ago so I have a lot of other things to move on to at the moment. Perhaps on the train ride (in between keeping three children 5 and under occupied, seeing the beautiful countryside, and taking LOTS of pictures!) I hope to do some blogging...albeit without photos since those will be inaccessible this trip, but I'll make up for it!

Regardless, I hear my dryer buzzer so I should go grab the last of my clothes and try to squeeze this package of diapers into one of my carry ons. Wish me luck!!

Collecting Bits

2011-03-20T21:57:00.000-04:00

As Nate nears his fifth birthday (tomorrow!!!), I've started compiling a list of things he says, quirks he has, habits he's acquired. Everything (especially at this age!) is so fleeting that I want to grab hold of it and stuff it into a deep dark memory somewhere so I never lose it! This is a partial list and not nearly everything I'd like to hold on to, but it's a good start...So, in random order:

Some cute things Nate says that I'm going to miss:

"Look, Mom! It's a salad field!"

"See this? This is eatin' grass"! (chives)

"What did you said again?"
"Alex just do'd that" (did)
I don't know "eve-ner" (either)

The way he says brother (Brud-duh) reminds me of that song, "Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh". It makes me smile.

He calls Curious George and the Man In the Yellow Hat, "Curious 'N George and Mr. Lell-o Pants"

He is often chased by forehead monsters (cyclops) and zom-mies but is quick to tell Alex that ghosts are just pretend. He's the perfect blend of imaginative and grounded.

He's always telling stories about "When he was my age" or how when "I was little, he was my brother". I'm constantly reminding him that "he's not 6 years old yet" or "he's never been a girl", or "that Uncle Noah was my brother even when I was a little girl". Quite a vivid imagination on that one, that's for sure.

He seems to live in movies. He quotes movies and acts out scenes from things he's seen constantly!! If you sit close enough to him when he's watching a movie he's seen a hundred times, you can almost hear him reciting all the words under his breath.

He's very dark and morbid for a kid his age. Everything is death, dying, and destruction. I'm sure that's the firefighter in him, or perhaps he overhears Daddy talking about his job at 9-1-1, but he's enamored with dark things. He knows far more than most kids his age about reality.

He's actually a pretty gross kid. He loves talking about farts, poop, puke...you name it. He's an incessant booger picker/eater, and despite my insistence that girls will not find that cute or charming as he gets older, he defers not.

He loves the FDNY - he's already worn one FDNY baseball hat to death (that was replaced on our last trip to NYC), has an entire fleet of FDNY fire trucks and police cars, and even specifically requested an FDNY themed birthday party this year!

Suddenly he's too grown up for green blankie, Boo Bankie, Bolt, and Bedtime Bear. Yet, oddly, when he's "cold" green blankie is always there, and Bolt rarely lets him go on an adventure solo!

Nate is very animated, dramatic, expressive, opinionated, bossy, precocious, helpful, kind, intelligent, creative, mouthy, energetic, independent, fearless, loving, spunky, funny, and so much more!!

I love this boy more than I can possibly express. I see so much of myself in him (living in his own little world, constantly acting out stories in his head and his actions, expressive to a fault). He's actually taken to snuggling with me from time to time and is very quick to send me a hug, share a kiss, or shout out an "I love you, Mom" when I need it most. I love living through his eyes and treasure every moment, every challenge, and every adventure he leads me on!

Flashback Friday...Birthday Boy

2011-03-18T07:41:00.001-04:00

For today's Flashback Friday, I thought it only proper to reflect back on the first year of my Bug's life. I randomly picked a couple pictures from each month during that first year, but here they are. I'm not entirely convinced that all of the dates are 100% accurate, either, but without extensive research, it's close enough! Enjoy!

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

October 2006

November 2006

December 2006

January 2007

February 2007

March 2007 - One Year Old!

Your first year was a blur, Bug...it went by much too quickly but it's been great fun looking back through the photos documenting your every move! You were (and still are!) a handsome "little" monster!

My Little Leprechaun

2011-03-17T20:31:00.000-04:00

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I kinda wanted Nate to be a St. Patrick's Day baby. I'm not even the slightest bit Irish, but truth be told, I was ready to have him out by then and I secretly (ok, maybe not so secretly, if you ask my sister) wanted him to be a 17th baby. My brother and I were both born on the 17th as is my person, Tiff (all different months and years, of course) but I thought it would be cool if Nate was, too.

My sister always had a complex growing up because of the three siblings she was the only one NOT to have a birthday on the 17th and my brother and I would remind her that Mom and Dad were in our "club", too, because if you add up the month and date of their anniversary (11/6)...yep, you guessed it - it adds to 17. So when I told my sister I wanted Nathaniel born on the 17th to be part of the cool crew, she was none too happy. (insert evil laugh, here!) He was due on the 22nd (her birthday) so she had her own agenda and plan anyway.

I ate so many Shamrock Shakes that March I thought Nate might come out green and smelling of mint anyway so he was already half way to being a leprechaun in my book!

Not to mention, my favorite color is green.

Fast forward a couple decades and I couldn't help but think what a great time he'd have on his 21st birthday with all that green beer flowing.

Needless to say, his birthday is NOT today, so I lost my "wager" with my sister. But when he was born on the 21st and not the 22nd...I figured she didn't win either so I was happy regardless.

Yet today I ponder what it could have been like to be celebrating my little leprechaun today. Instead, I breathe a gigantic sigh of relief that I still have 4 more days to prepare for his actual birthday!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday...Typical Nate

2011-03-16T21:11:00.000-04:00

At Chuck E. Cheese's a couple weeks ago, I had Nate sit with me to do one of those sketch drawings they print out for you. Last time we were there (YEARS ago!) I got one drawn of Nate and I and I wanted a "comparison" of him now. Well, he was none too happy at my request. So this is the photo we got. And you know what, this is so Nate. He can be pretty miserable sometimes, and (too) often shows his emotions right out in the open. We're working with him on this but in the meantime I will enjoy his, um...expressive-ness.

Birthday Week 2011

2011-03-14T10:22:00.030-04:00

I sit here, wracked with guilt as I realize I don't think I did a birthday week post party for Alex last year (oops!). I celebrated Nate's birthday week last March, but totally forgot to dedicate the whole week to my Digger when it came time for his 2nd birthday. Apparently March must have more free time associated with it (HA!) but for whatever reason, I tend to remember it for Nate and forget come September to keep things fair. I promise to make it up to Alex this year! (Love you, Piggy! Mommy's sorry!)

Anyway, today marks the start of Nate's Birthday Week 2011. And what a big week it is! Next Monday my ~~baby~~ big boy turns 5. FIVE! Can you believe it? I honestly don't know where 5 years (1,825 days!) have disappeared to so quickly!

So to kick off what proves to be a fun trip down memory lane this week, I thought it would be fun to celebrate Monday Ughday, Nate-style!

In honor of my little fireBug on the start of Birthday Week 2011, I bring you a smile from Ziggy, and a little firehouse bonus!

And from Thatababy by Paul Trap

Quiet Time

2011-03-13T18:21:00.002-04:00

I learned a valuable lesson today.

Quiet time is not just for our kids.

I strive to keep my children on some semblance of a schedule. I give them breakfast at the same time, snack time comes rather predictably a couple hours later, then lunch time, followed by nap/quiet time, etc. They know it's coming. That's not a surprise. Quiet time doesn't suddenly sneak up on them. Yet, they fight it every time.

I have come to realize today, after a ~~moment~~, er, afternoon of not-so-stellar mothering, that I, too, greatly depend on quiet time. In fact, it is instrumental to my soul. Without quiet time, I melt down. Just like my kids do. Only uglier. And usually louder.

If some days are "on" days and others are "off" days, today has certainly been a total power outage sort of day. I'm ready to crawl into bed and start over again tomorrow.

Monkey Boy

2011-03-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

In case there is any question as to why it is I call Alex my "Monkey Boy". Not only can he grab a hold of my hand and climb up me to flip, sit on my shoulders, or take a piggy back ride, but he's always climbing and swinging and flipping and somersaulting. He's a tiny little limber and agile gymnast child. Or something.

Here's his latest little trick and proof that I'm not crazy:

He's a monkey alright.

What I Want to Be...

2011-03-11T07:10:00.000-05:00

I'm having one of those crossroads in life where I'm thinking long and hard about what I want to be "when I grow up". I can answer more easily the question, "what do I NOT want to be" but that doesn't help me much.

So I started drafting an ideal dream in my head of what would make me happy.

First, it would be having my own schedule. I work very funny sometimes. My brain, my creativity and therefore, my productivity ebbs and flows. It also flickers on and off like a light switch or a channel changer. My head bounces from one area of focus to the next like a ping pong ball. If you've ever had a conversation with me, you know this. So to fit my most productive brain power into a set work day (from 8-3, for example) is nearly impossible. Take for example last week - I took 3 days off last week, worked one day (at work) and one day from home and managed to accomplish just as much, if not more, than I do sitting in my cubicle at work for 35 hours a week. Not to mention, my house was more orderly, the dishes were done after every meal, the laundry was caught up, projects were completed and I generally felt like I knew what was going on with my family.

I'm not sure if that means I think better when I'm at home, I'm too distracted when I'm at work, or perhaps I'm just able to bounce in and out of work mode and Mom mode when it fits and still get just as much done as I do when I'm at work just wishing I could be at home being a Mom.

Anyway, ideally, I could wake up (at the crack of dawn, no doubt), do my early morning snuggling/coffee thing with the boys, get Nate off to school, get him/them working on a project of some sort or playing nicely together and sit down to get some work done. If they need a drink or I have to make lunch, I go "on break" and attend to their needs. Perhaps I stop in the afternoon to play a game of Hi-Ho-Cherry-O or piece back together a broken Lego fire truck. I'd still get my snuggle time in the evening and then if need be, do some more work after they're in bed. There are 16 hours in a day when I am awake, surely I can get a normal day's work in there somewhere by using my idle time more productively. All while never (rarely) having to leave my house and having the flexibility to be there for my family when they need me.

Now, about this WORK I'd ideally be doing. Something I enjoy. Something I'm naturally good at, that comes easily. Something that feels productive, expresses some of who I am, and allows me to feel good about my contributions. Naturally, I would like this to be writing. Articles, blogs, books, grants, I really don't care as much as I'm writing something and helping to support my family by doing it. That would be awesome. But I lack two very important skills...know how, and follow through.

I don't know where to start and my current "randomly applying for freelance jobs as they appear" thing isn't working out very quickly. So, besides winning the lottery or learning that I have a wealthy Great Uncle Hector who passed away and left me his fortune in Confederate money to unload on Ebay, what's a girl to do?

All I know is I have to do something. I'm a miserable wretch watching my boys' life pass me by while I miss it all. How does that guy on the Food Network get the job as "Official Ice Cream Taste Tester", anyhow? Surely my dream job has to be out there somewhere...

10 on 10: March 2011

2011-03-10T20:24:00.000-05:00

Today is the 10th of the month, so you know what that means...10 on 10!

Take 1 photo each hour for 10 hours on the 10th of the month.

In honor of St. Patrick's Day I did my 10 on 10 in a green theme today. Green just happens to be my favorite color so I was thrilled to be able to find (and record) snippets of it throughout my day!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Be sure to stop over to here to check out more 10 on 10 photo sets taken by people much more talented and artistic than I am!

Wordless Wednesday...Peaceful Slumber

2011-03-09T08:45:00.001-05:00

Checked Out

2011-03-08T14:09:00.004-05:00

In a way I feel as though I have checked out from my job. I spent weeks going back and forth with the powers-that-be trying to come to a mutually agreeable outcome for my schedule and even though we (finally) came to an agreement that essentially served both our needs, I feel a bit disgruntled about the whole process. I find myself angry and feeling like I'd rather do anything than work for people whom I feel don’t really value me or my skills.

I’m sure a lot of this has to do with my well-documented inferiority complex and my on-going struggle against this disease I call Cellophane-itis, but nonetheless, it sucks.

So I continue trudging along, doing the best job I know how, following directions, meeting deadlines - all while secretly dreading even getting up in the morning and driving my butt in to work. Everything there suddenly feels too politic-y and square. They claim to be family-friendly, but for the first time, I don't really believe that. Luckily I really like my boss and totally respect him, what he's taught me, and the work he does so I'd never leave him high and dry, but my heart just isn't in it these days.

It doesn't help that I spent three glorious weeks being a (part-time) stay-at-home-mom and saw what the other side of the coin looks like. So, until some miracle happens I need to rally, put on my game face, dig deep and get the job done. All while secretly hoping against all hopes that the job I want to be doing the most doesn't pass me by while I'm waiting.

Monday Ughdays

2011-03-07T12:35:00.000-05:00

I ~~hate~~ really dislike Mondays. In their mean way Monday's almost seem to rub that "Weekend's Over" reality in your face with awful things like alarm clocks, and work schedules, and morning traffic. Ugh.

So, to cope. I've turned to Ziggy. Ziggy has always been a favorite of mine. His low self esteem, bad luck, near invisibility, and predominately upbeat attitude despite all that, has always resonated with me. Ziggy is my hero. So, I thought I'd turn Mondays (which are usually low-functioning brain days, as well) into Monday Ughdays and share a bit of humor, perspective, and relate-able brilliance...Ziggy-style!

*breathe*

Ah, that's better.

Bedhead

2011-03-05T08:38:00.001-05:00

Alex has the worst case of bedhead when he gets up in the morning. He's always had this Alfalfa thing going on, but this is even more extreme. It's still ridiculously cute so I had to share it.

My Digger FUZZ Bucket! :)

I think I will have to introduce him to hair gel at an early age!

Flashback Friday - Traditions

2011-03-04T21:32:00.000-05:00

Growing up I had my fair share of traditions to look forward to each year - traditions to celebrate birthday, Christmas, and annual Vacations.

I struggle with traditions to establish with my boys. Sometimes I think I even over think it (gasp!) at times and try too hard to make everything a tradition that they can hold on to.

Today, however, I decided to share an old tradition my Mom established years ago. When I was Nate's age, I remember coming home from Kindergarten (it was half-day for me) and my Mom would give me a snack of peanut butter saltines with a sprinkle of sugar...Mom would allow me a certain number of crackers depending on my age, and proximity to meal time, I suspect. I'd count out the crackers, and create my masterpieces.

Not only are these little ditties delicious even to these days, but they bring back such fond comfort and memories for me. I remember coming home from rough days in college and making that for my snack. I'd sit at the table, using a paper towel for a plate, just as I remember Mom doing, and I'd count out my crackers, build my crackerpieces and savor.

I was so happy to be able to share this simple snack from my past with my boys. Nate got 4 (one for each year) and Alex got 2 to follow suit. And both seemed to enjoy them as much as I did. I'm not sure they understood the importance these little concoctions hold but I do hope they realize it the way I do someday. I at least hope some of my traditions stick...If not this tradition, than the next.

Wordless Wednesday...Fun with Chuck E.

2011-03-02T07:57:00.000-05:00

Simple Woman's Daybook...March 1, 2011

2011-03-01T19:57:00.000-05:00

FOR TODAY...March 1, 2011

Outside my window...the sun is setting on what turned out to be a great day!

I am thinking...about the fun day we had today. I put Nate on the bus this morning and then Alex and I walked around the corner to drop in on my brother and play with my nephew. I had been feeling disconnected lately so I was happy to spend some one on one time with them and air my concerns. When Nate got home from school we loaded up and met Heidi and clan at Chuck E. Cheese's for some fun.

I am thankful for...the time I have been able to spend at home with my boys these past couple of weeks. I feel so much more in control when I have an inside hand in what's going on here at home instead of just flying through once in a while like I do working 40 hours/week.

From the kitchen...the kitchen is closed tonight. I had big intentions of making something for dinner but by the time we got home it was the farthest thing from my mind. The boys were less than cooperative so I gave up.

I am wearing...the outfit I wore to meet Heidi earlier...plus my bathrobe. I have a chill I can't get rid of so I layered up.

I am remembering...that Dave will be changing shifts again when I go back to work. We will see each other very infrequently so I am glad it is short lived and remembering that it will all be worth it once he's certified and doing something new that he loves.

I am going...to enjoy the last couple of days home with my boys. We have few plans that will take us away so we'll stick close to home.

I am hoping...to survive the month of March with few casualties.

I am hearing...nothing. I am breathing a sigh of relief while Dave has taken the kids to town to get Chinese food for dinner. Between getting up at 5AM and no nap for Alex, I am at wit's end. Alex gets so wired and rotten when he's tired and today he's tired beyond even that!

Pondering these words..."Chances are good that you won't have to see me again" - Dr. Andolina, Blood Disorder Specialist at Strong Pediatric Hematology

We got the call tonight that Alex's blood work came back looking good. He is a little low on the iron but not detrimentally so. The doctor said his hemoglobin numbers were a bit low but that could be explained by his attempt to overcome anemia or a viral infection he may have had recently wherein he'd still be building his numbers back up. He recommended we continue supplementing his iron for another month or so and then have him checked again at his 3-year check up in September. But all in all, everything checked out. *sigh of relief

Around the house...general run-of-the-mill chaos. Pillows, toys, basic fire fighting equipment is strewn about, as usual. Tomorrow I will tackle that, the dishes, the laundry, and snuggle with my boys some more.

On my mind...I'm trying not to dwell on it, but I feel the pressure as these three weeks home with my babies comes to a close. I really wanted to figure out some magical equation that would allow me to make this staying home thing work for all of us, for real. But alas, here we are and I'm no closer than I was three weeks ago to being able to make a living from home.

Noticing that...my head spins when I get the option of having 5 minutes to myself. Should I blog? Take a shower? Nap? Clean? Fold Laundry?!?! So many options...so little time. Usually by the time I figure something out my time is up.

One of my favorite things...my laptop. It allows me to be "connected" while still being connected where I need to be. I'm able to get a lot of stuff done without being away from where the action is.

A few plans for the rest of the week: haircut, swimming lessons, hanging with the family.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Chloe and Nate were playing a game at Chuck E. Cheese today that simulated electric voltage and they had to hold on for a certain amount of time to earn tickets. I love the look on their faces...classic!

March Madness

2011-03-01T04:31:00.000-05:00

Why does March consistently prove to be a crazy, ridiculous month for me. Both personally and professionally, I run like a mad woman all month long. I'm not sure if there’s something in the air, some cosmic alignment of planets, or just poor planning on my part but it seems to always fall this way.

This March I have doubly, triply, crammed 200 lbs of crap into my 5 lb bag. Between a very important (soon-to-be) 5-year-old's birthday (FDNY-themed this year, per his request!), the potential of 9 (!) grant requests due this month, side work I've taken on for a local business that has NYS tax deadlines this month and a couple volunteer projects I'm tackling, I'm swamped. Not to mention my 10-day cross-country train adventure at the end of the month! I've done all of this to myself though and I know I will survive. But the next few weeks will be hairy. I have a lot to accomplish and (technically) only 22 days to get it all done in...wish me luck! Oh, and if you don't see much of me spewing my random, cluttered thoughts here, I do apologize! I will certainly make up for it in April!

Wordless Wednesday...Victory!

2011-02-23T20:14:00.001-05:00